Life According to MoDOT

July 12, 2013

So if life is a highway, what can we learn from the highways of Missourah during rush hour? 

Highway habit:
I have never seen people use the brake so much in their entire life. 
Need to get over? Brake.
See an exit ramp? Brake. 
Went a mile over the speed limit? Brake. 
Brakebrakebrakebrakebrake


Kids. Don't brake for life. Or brake your life for other people. 
You charge on, you little rascals you. 
Do your thang. 
Pursue those dreams. 

Highway habit:
Missourah residents do this cute little thing where they full out stop at the top of a hill. 
It's like I can hear them in their cars, 
"But what's on the other side? We can't possibly know. 
Let's go for it today. Don't stop. 
Wait! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE!!"
And instantly you go from 60 to 0. 


Don't let the unknown freak you out!
Don't spend hours of your life imaging the horrors that might happen,
they also might NOT happen!

And that kids, is all I've got for you. There are a few other metaphors about four lanes (four options of life!) and the 60 mph speed limit (don't be afraid to go fast!) but this is getting long. Guess it's a good thing I'm getting off this Missourah highway (get it? hint hint. hint hint.). 

HAPPY FRIDAY! 

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The Katy Perry Drinking Game

July 10, 2013

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Girls Night is for guilty pleasures...like dancing in your kitchen, homemade mango margaritas and indulging in the movie you've secretly always wanted to pick up at RedBox: The Katy Perry movie.

Take a drink when:
*a fan cries
*Russell Brand is mentioned
*You see Russell Brand on screen
*They show a picture of Katy with braces
*Whip cream shoots out of her bra

Take two drinks when:
*a gay man talks about how much Katy taught them
*You catch yourself actually going "Awwww..."
*Katy's grandma is on screen

Finish your drink when:
*A child from Children's Miracle Network is shown
*Katy and Russell get divorced
*You find yourself texting someone "this is actually very emotional"



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