Tiny Joys

Today I have the absolutely wonderful Eloise of The Awkward Giraffe over to post for me. I'm not sure where to start, without sounding like a stalker. Eloise is blogging proof that all those random posts you read saying "the best way to grow your blog/make blog friends is to leave comments" are TRUE. Eloise left a bunch of comments (woot woot love) and I was like "I gotta click this. I gotta check this girl out." At first, I was insanely intimidated. She's like...the most gorgeous. And she loves turquoise. And she's smart. And so classy and put together. At first I thought she was like a really cute Stepford Wife with good taste in kitchen appliances, and then...she opened her mouth. And I was like "SASSY TOO?!?! STOP." I am confident after this post you will be just as enamored of her as I am =)

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Big thanks to fellow turquoise lover and all around awesome lady Autumn for letting me guest post!

Greetings! I am Eloise and I blog over in my little corner of the internet machine, Awkward Giraffe. Why Awkward Giraffe? Because I am tall and thin and people think I look graceful... and then I move. I am a super klutz. I am all arms and legs and if I can bump into it/trip over it/knock it over, I will. It's a special skill I have. Let's just say, dancing and sports are not my forte.

I also find selfies to be extremely awkward...

Moving on... I'm going to share some of my favorite things with you fine people today. Nothing big and exciting, just little everyday things that make me happy.

Red lipstick. If I'm ever feeling a bit meh, I just put on my favorite red lipstick and my mood is instantly lifted. It's basically instant glam. This comes in handy when I'm meeting friends for drinks after work and feeling a bit stale from all day at the office.

Cheese. It's my favorite. Extra sharp white cheddar, feta, Swiss, smoked Gouda, Parmesan, goat, fresh mozzarella,  it doesn't matter. I want it with every meal. Bonus points if it's in liquid form. Mmm nachos...

Turquoise. I love it. I love the color and I love the stone. Some of my favorite pieces of jewelry are turquoise and I may have just ordered a couple more from Fifth & Mae. Oops!

Sassy panties. They're guaranteed to make your day better. No one else can see them, but YOU know you're wearing them.

Coffee. It makes me exponentially more productive in the mornings. I don't do the fancy Starbucks coffee very often. Just give me the free coffee at work with a little cream and sugar, and I'm a happy camper.

Antique malls. I can spend hours wandering through a good antique mall. I collect some patterns of glassware, bakeware, and pottery, and it's so fun to stumble across a piece I don't have stuffed in some dusty corner.

Tequila. In margarita form, preferably. This one is self explanatory.

A good great book. One that just sucks you in and makes you hide in another room and scowl when someone dares to interrupt you.

Tattoos. I love to see other people's tattoos and hear the stories behind them. I have two and another planned for this weekend. I'm so excited I can't stand it!

Clean sheets. Is there anything better than slipping into a freshly made bed with crispy, clean sheets?

Ice cold Diet Coke. I am a pretty healthy eater most of the time. Lots of water, salads, etc. But if I'm hungover? You better get me a frosty Diet Coke, stat.

Blogging! It brings together such fantastic ladies from all around the world. I recently started Awkward Giraffe anonymously, and it's been so liberating to just blog without fear of judgement from people in 'real' life. I feel like it's helping me rediscover my true self, and I can't wait to see where this new blog space takes me!

So that's it! Thanks again to Autumn for being the coolest. Feel free to stalk me on Twitter, my blog, Instagram, or Bloglovin. Or not... whatever.

So please share, what's a little thing that can instantly brighten your day?

Khloe, Autumn and Adele go to Brunch

Guest blogging for me today is Michael, the bachelor  who thought his crock pot would burn down his apartment! As you all know, I am obsessed with Khloe Kardashian and Adele. I think that both are amazing, sassy, classy ladies who are admirable in the way they keep it real and don't take shit from anyone. So Michael has gone above and beyond in writing a schedule of what it would look like if Khloe, Adele and I went to brunch. (Hopefully someone besides me thinks this is hysterical. I've bolded the really funny parts but...I think it's all funny.) 

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11:47: Adele arrives 13 minutes early because she is a classy betch. Shoos away 3 men and the waiter. 

11:50: Autumn finishes 10 minute power primp sesh, hops in the car and PT cruises over to lunch.

11:54: Adele writes Grammy award winning song about the man she just pushed away. Well all four of them.

11:56: Adele wonders why no one has asked her for a drink order. Drinks water to sooth her recently healed angel face voice.

11:59: Autumn arrives. Tells Adele that if this place only serves crepes that she will “choke a bitch.” Decides to order lobster.

12:01: Autumn decides to order a steak.

12:04: Autumn reads entire menu to Adele in an over exaggerated commercial voice because she can’t decide what she wants to get.

12:06: Autumn enters a food rage. Violently grabs Adele's hand and forcefully asks why they haven’t taken her order yet. Adele is unsure. 

12:10 Lamar drops Khloe off, wine glass already in hand, after whispering sweet nothings into each others’ ears.

12:12 Khloe wanders around restaurant. Tells random passerby that she is “dressed like cat woman.” Orders a drink but is refused because she already has one in her hand. Reminds bartender that she has been to prison. Adele runs to her side for help.

12:15: Autumn and Khloe lock eyes from across the restaurant - the only thing other than greasy food that can calm her mid food rage.

12:18: Autumn coordinates what everyone orders to ensure a variety of choices for all parties, and so she doesn’t have to decide on one thing. Begins live tweeting the occasion out of sheer joy from the thought of the food arriving. Khloe orders drink.

12:21: Autumn reminds Adele and Khloe that they are all soulmates and best friends. In real life and on twitter.

12:24: Autumn and Adele bond over how boys are stupid. And how they are both sassy and quote ‘know what they got.’ Khloe and Lamar repeatedly text each other.

12:30: Food arrives. Autumn successfully resists shrieking from excitement. Khloe orders drink.

12:34: Adele sings. Restaurant breaks down into tears, yet simultaneously feels empowered. Seven breakups occur, and a man is healed of diabetes.

12:40: Autumn orders a drink ‘with vitamins.’ Waiter has no clue what this means. (side note: I have a strong and completely misplaced belief that any alcoholic drink that tastes like mangoes has vitamins and is therefor healthy)

12:44: Khloe says she hears the pitter-patter of a dinosaur. It happens to be the waiter who has returned with the wrong drink for Autumn.

12:46: Khloe figures out that it is the wrong drink, promptly runs to the kitchen and calls the waiter an ‘silly evil bitch,’ and can’t be reasoned with until the whole meal is paid for.

12:51: Leaves kitchen and fist bumps a stranger at the bar.

12:54: All leave and swear to never eat at a brunch place again. Waiter reminds them that it is not in fact a brunch restaurant but they hear none of it.

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Lookin' fly in our brunch outfits!

 Nothin' like a good stroll in the park after brunch!

Stranger Danger: Hamburger Edition

Today I'm guest blogging again for Kimberly at The Simplicity of Being Curious. We'll be discussing important life questions, like:

Which came first, the weirdo who ate the stranger's hamburger,

 or the weirdo who gave their hamburger to a stranger?

Read the blog and cast your vote! If you haven't taken a look at Kim's blog yet, please stop by! She is like the big sister who has all her shit together, while I'm the little sister who is still a struggle busing hot mess. One day, I'll be on her level. But till then...stop on over and enjoy a good laugh, compliments of my inability to say no to strangers =)

 (If you like what you read, you can also read my first guest blog for Kim here, too!)

And don't forget...tomorrow...I announce my first ever blog link up =)