How To: Determine Fight-Worthiness With Your Man Friend

As we all know, I am quite the feisty individual. If there was a profession which involved picking fights, I would be a billionaire (Is there a profession that needs this skill? Please, tell me. So I can start my accession to the top of the career ladder.). 
But how do you know when it is worth it to pick a fight with your Man Friend, and when it is not worth it? Because we all know, those who pick 'em, must apologize for 'em first. And nothing is worse than having to apologize for a fight you didn't even need to have -- so make sure it's a valid fight (and then, after confirming validity, WIN!).

Before picking a fight, I encourage everyone to apply The Toddler Rule:

1. Have you taken a nap within the last two hours?

1. Have you had a snack within the last two hours?

If you answer no to either of these questions, then take a nap and a snack and then check in on your emotions afterwards. If you can answer yes to BOTH of these questions, then proceed to evaluate the fight-worthiness level using this handy dandy chart which I created for you. You're welcome.

*Sarcasm included, The Unreal Life is not responsible for any and all fights picked up or left behind as a result of this chart. Use in consultation with your favorite glass of wine. If your fight lasts more than four hours, consult a friend.