This I Know (sort of)

July 31, 2013

There have been quite a few "where is my life going" posts floating around the blogosphere. I don't know where my life is going, exactly. But here's what I do know, sort of. 

1) For every three times you beat yourself up over not being where you think you should be, sit back and give yourself one compliment for something you have accomplished. We're all hard on ourselves. But we've also all done a shit ton of work to get where we are, and need to remember that. 

2) Stop with the unnecessary idea that the perfect job comes by age 28. I think this particularly applies to millennials. Now, look around you and realize the world is not run by 28 year olds. You will get there. 

3) Just. Keep. Moving. You can over-analyze all you want, but ultimately...just keep moving. Keep trying. Keep taking steps. 

4) This. This quote. Is everything. 

Live your way into the answers. 

What's your advice for life as a 20something?
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Pretty Little Bloggers

July 30, 2013

Eeeee the big day is here! I'm so excited to team up with Deidre from Love, The Skinnys and Samantha from All Sorts of Virgin to present:

Yes. Pretty Little Bloggers. We're here to present our theories as to how PLL will end. We may not know how we got to this point in the plot, how Spenser forgot Toby slept with his step sister or who A is, but we do have some pretty good ideas of how this series might end. So, without further ado, we present Pretty Little Bloggers: Alternate Endings to PLL. 

Toby is mercilessly killed off by Melissa (as part of the A Team). After a sufficient one week period of mourning, Spenser realizes that Melissa really did her a favor. She regains her appetite, spine, sass and self-esteem. Inspired by her new sense of self worth, Spenser goes on the ultimate revenge spree against A to get her friend's love lives back in order. 

A kills off Maggie, the baby mama with an uncanny ability to forgive disappearing father figures. Aria and Ezra are finally reconnected and there is much rejoicing. But then...Ezra is contacted by A, who threatens to kill the love of his life, Aria, if Ezra doesn't do exactly as A says. The mission: wed and bed Aria's mom. 

A poses the ultimate question to Aria and audiences alike: is it better to have the love of your life alive and with another woman...or dead? In typical A fashion, the answer is...dead. Ezra dies in a tragic poisoned chalkboard dust incident. Amidst her grief, Aria learns that Ezra has left her the most precious piece of his heart even after death, sole custody of his son Malcolm. 

Oh, and I'm A, bitches.

It all comes to light. Jenna has never been blind, and her surgery didn't work. Because she didn't have surgery. But while she was pretending she got her pilots license, multiple wigs, and incredible makeup disguise classes. So not only is she Jenna, but she is also Cece Drake, Red Coat, fake Ali, and the little scary girl from Halloween. Impressive, I know. And the only reason she is caught is because she tries to sleep with Toby again (gross.) when she is Cece, and he is like, what? You look like Jenna, and he rips off her mask and then finds her cell phone full of A messages.

Even with all of that. Melissa did kill Wildon and Caleb - spoiler alert. Hannah's mom is set free just in time to keep her from starving to death from depression. Hannah uses her trials to make success and becomes Miss America. Emily gets an incredible surgery and go to swim at Stanford on a full ride. Spencer realizes Toby is a weirdo for ever having slept with his sister in the first place. She dumps him and starts dating that British guy and demands acceptance to her family's dream school, which they give her. And Aria and Ezra are back together and get married in the season finale.

It's a nice sunny day outside, the birds are chirping, the camera rolls in on the PLL's asleep in Spencer's backyard barn, you, the faithful viewer thinks, wait a minute… isn't that supposed to be Melissa's apartment now? the camera rolls over all four liars and lands on Hanna's face, she looks a little pudgier than when we last saw her… and then Snap! Her eyes open, she sits bolt-up and looks around… she sees Spencer, Emily, Aria, and then right next to her, Ali…

Hannah: "What the?"

She shakes Spencer awake, the closest liar to her…

Hannah: "Spencer, what the hell is going on?!"

Spencer: " Hannah, it's too early! Go back to bed, we'll go out for breakfast later!"

Hannah: "Spencer, something's wrong!"

Spencer: "Go back to bed Hannah"

Hanna looks around again and seems to remember where she is, she lays back down and giggles.

Ali rolls over and looks at Hannah

Ali: "What's so funny?"

Hannah: "I had the weirdest dream…"

Ali: "all about me I suppose…" (she says only half awake but still as self centered as always)

Hannah: "Sort of, anyway, I'll tell you about it later, I'm going back to bed."

Ali: "Kisses" 

So, how do you think PLL will end?
Who is A? 

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Weekend Shennans: Last Ones in the Lou

July 29, 2013

This weekend was:

*Baseball games with good friends and nachos as big as your head. 

*Friday afternoons off for an early happy hour at the Cheesecake Factory.

*Picking up the stranger who's hamburger you ate last weekend for a last minute adventure 
to the Jive 'n' Wail, a dueling piano bar. 

* Indulging in all my favorite pool things: chips and dip, Skip Bo, swimming, sunshine, water and laughs. 

*Taking advantage of the nature trail by my apartment while I can. 

*Finishing the weekend with my friend Amanda's most divine, homemade BBQ chicken pizza, garlic cheese bread and peach wine. 

And that sums up my weekend. So wonderful, I can't even form complete paragraphs =) I did, however, manage to form complete paragraphs for my guest post over at Awkward Giraffe on Guilty Pleasures. Check it out and let me know...what's your guilty pleasure? =)
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My Most Embarrassing Moment

July 26, 2013

I'm not sure why I decided to treat every week day like the weekend this week, but I did and I don't hate it and I loved it. But, my brain is a little fried so instead of this post, you get this awkward attempt at my second vlog. Subject: that time I said gangbanger in an interview. 

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The Happiest Hours are With Flamingos

July 25, 2013

Hi friends!

Here we are again. Another day another dollar. I just realized that I have actually work meetings that require my attendance until 2 p.m. today so that was a huge debbie downer to my morning. 

Last night, I went to "Jammin at the Zoo" which is basically happy hour at the zoo. You buy a wristband and get tasting from a bunch of different winery tables set up all over the zoo. 

The best part by a long shot was getting to pet the sting rays. When that woman told me petting the sting rays was FREE for the night, I legit ran my little wino ass down those metal line barriers and into the sting ray pool. Umm, but not cool, they mixed the sting rays with little baby sharks. I don't care how "safe" those sharks are I'm gonna pull my hand out as soon as I see one. So it went a lot like "Oh! Oh! Mr. String Ray come here! I want to pet you! OH MY GOD WHAT THE #$@#. Phew. Okay. Oh a sting ray! Look! He's coming!" Basically, the sting ray pool was awesome and I never ever wanted to leave. Like ever. They felt like slimy mushroom caps. 

After that we had some more wine and I made the acquaintance of Dan the Official Groundskeeper who said the best part of his job was meeting people like me. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Then I came home and drunk interviewed Jason from Passionfruit Ads. I hope you all are as excited for that gem of journalism as much as I am coming up here...shortly. It was slightly a dream come true because growing up I always wanted to be Diane Sawyer. I imagine Diane does her best hard-hitting journalism slightly tipsy as well. 

Alright, I'm off to hopefully get some blog reading in before these awful meetings begin. Oh! And in case you missed it, yesterday I guest post for Kailagh at Love Always, Freckles so be sure to hop on over and give it if a glance (pretty please). 

Who's excited for my interview with Jason?
Who's touched a sting ray before?
Which zoo animal would you most like to get drunk with?
Who has the best readers in town? I DO. 

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Tiny Joys

July 24, 2013

Today I have the absolutely wonderful Eloise of The Awkward Giraffe over to post for me. I'm not sure where to start, without sounding like a stalker. Eloise is blogging proof that all those random posts you read saying "the best way to grow your blog/make blog friends is to leave comments" are TRUE. Eloise left a bunch of comments (woot woot love) and I was like "I gotta click this. I gotta check this girl out." At first, I was insanely intimidated. She's like...the most gorgeous. And she loves turquoise. And she's smart. And so classy and put together. At first I thought she was like a really cute Stepford Wife with good taste in kitchen appliances, and then...she opened her mouth. And I was like "SASSY TOO?!?! STOP." I am confident after this post you will be just as enamored of her as I am =)


Big thanks to fellow turquoise lover and all around awesome lady Autumn for letting me guest post!

Greetings! I am Eloise and I blog over in my little corner of the internet machine, Awkward Giraffe. Why Awkward Giraffe? Because I am tall and thin and people think I look graceful... and then I move. I am a super klutz. I am all arms and legs and if I can bump into it/trip over it/knock it over, I will. It's a special skill I have. Let's just say, dancing and sports are not my forte.

I also find selfies to be extremely awkward...

Moving on... I'm going to share some of my favorite things with you fine people today. Nothing big and exciting, just little everyday things that make me happy.

Red lipstick. If I'm ever feeling a bit meh, I just put on my favorite red lipstick and my mood is instantly lifted. It's basically instant glam. This comes in handy when I'm meeting friends for drinks after work and feeling a bit stale from all day at the office.

Cheese. It's my favorite. Extra sharp white cheddar, feta, Swiss, smoked Gouda, Parmesan, goat, fresh mozzarella,  it doesn't matter. I want it with every meal. Bonus points if it's in liquid form. Mmm nachos...

Turquoise. I love it. I love the color and I love the stone. Some of my favorite pieces of jewelry are turquoise and I may have just ordered a couple more from Fifth & Mae. Oops!

Sassy panties. They're guaranteed to make your day better. No one else can see them, but YOU know you're wearing them.

Coffee. It makes me exponentially more productive in the mornings. I don't do the fancy Starbucks coffee very often. Just give me the free coffee at work with a little cream and sugar, and I'm a happy camper.

Antique malls. I can spend hours wandering through a good antique mall. I collect some patterns of glassware, bakeware, and pottery, and it's so fun to stumble across a piece I don't have stuffed in some dusty corner.

Tequila. In margarita form, preferably. This one is self explanatory.

A good great book. One that just sucks you in and makes you hide in another room and scowl when someone dares to interrupt you.

Tattoos. I love to see other people's tattoos and hear the stories behind them. I have two and another planned for this weekend. I'm so excited I can't stand it!

Clean sheets. Is there anything better than slipping into a freshly made bed with crispy, clean sheets?

Ice cold Diet Coke. I am a pretty healthy eater most of the time. Lots of water, salads, etc. But if I'm hungover? You better get me a frosty Diet Coke, stat.

Blogging! It brings together such fantastic ladies from all around the world. I recently started Awkward Giraffe anonymously, and it's been so liberating to just blog without fear of judgement from people in 'real' life. I feel like it's helping me rediscover my true self, and I can't wait to see where this new blog space takes me!

So that's it! Thanks again to Autumn for being the coolest. Feel free to stalk me on Twitter, my blog, Instagram, or Bloglovin. Or not... whatever.

So please share, what's a little thing that can instantly brighten your day?

I Dreamt I was Hitler's Girlfriend

July 23, 2013

Aaaaaaand we're back folks, for another round of "What's that mean, dream?" An exciting game where I try to outwit's interpretation of my dream by pulling an explanation from it that doesn't mean sexual repression or needed therapy. 

The dream:
I am in the Holocaust and have been taken to a concentration camp. They make us do all kinds of awful things and I am terrified that I am going to die. I keep fervently trying to tell them I'm Norwegian, not Jewish. But I'm scared because whenever people ask me intense questions I have a tendency to break into giggles, making the other person believe I'm lying because I can't stop laughing. I practice very hard saying "Norwegian" without smiling. 

We are brought to a big banquet hall, where a series of slides is shown to us. Each slide has a completely made up sentence on it, and we all have to memorize the words--salmon, wax paper, etc. Then, we have to stand in two lines and Hitler goes down the line and each person says one word. But it has to be in the right order, or you get executed. I'm sweating bullets, but fortunately the game ends at the person right before me. Hitler is le bored. We are dismissed. 

And then...Hitler picks me up in his car and WE GO ON A DATE. BECAUSE I AM HITLER'S GIRLFRIEND. He tells me he never expected this to happen and he loves me so much and he just wants to make me happy and I'm like "Dude...then don't keep dropping me off at my bunker every night!" And THEN I see myself and I am MIRANDA HOBBS FROM SATC. 

Symbols Explained: 
  • Hitler is a sign of opression, fear and manipulation of power. Something in your life is making you feel less than human. 
  • Dreaming that you are on a date signifies that you are exploring different aspects of yourself. 
  • The banquet hall means that I am emotionally malnourished.
  • If you see a concentration camp, it means that you are having trouble accepting other's differences. 

Hold up. I suffer through the concentration camp dream
and suddenly I'm in the wrong for being judgemental?

DreamMood's Interpretation:
Dating Hitler is a great thing for you right now! You need to branch out, try new things 
and stop judging people! Only when you learn to accept other's differences 
will you become emotionally fulfilled. 
You don't want to end up like Miranda Hobbs, do you? 

My interpretation:
You're going to be a cat lady. 

you feel less than human because everyone you converse with in STL seems slightly crazy and has very different opinions than you on basically everything in life. This leaves you second guessing whether you are in fact crazy. In the midst of these people, you feel like Miranda Hobbs--straight laced, over-logical and emotionless. 


What's your interpretation? What's the weirdest dream you've had lately?

Also, because I'm feeling sorry/terrified for myself after being Hitler's girlfriend, 
all ad spaces are 50% with promo code "CATLADY".

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Weekend Update: The Town

July 22, 2013

This weekend's keyword was recovery. I think all the stress/exhaustion/busyness of 5-day work trips, weekend road trips, quitting jobs and moving plans all caught up and I was pretty much horizontal as much as possible (not that way, losers). The best way to recover: indulging in one of my favorite guilty pleasures--bank robbery movies (and also boxing movies). The fact that I can be completely engrossed in these two genres is a mystery to me. Normally I balk at anything with unnecessary violence and gore...and yet when it comes to robbing shit and boxing shit I can literally not turn my eyes away. So, yeah...this is my weekend update.

The Town: 2010 American crime drama exploring the deep, resonating bromance between two bank robbers who grew up in Boston. Emotional turmoil ensues when one robber falls in love with bank robbing victim, and pursues a romantic relationship. Viewers will be left questioning whether true love can conquer all, how often did Ben Affleck meet with a voice coach and what do they do with all the stolen money since they still live in the slums? 

1. Find bank robbery movie on TV channel that you only remember exists on Saturdays. Wiggle with glee when you see you've managed to turn it on at the exact start time. Settle in to your couch for 3 hours of guilty pleasure. 

2. Make a mental note to visit the city thanks to beautiful, yet grim, opening montage of children playing in streets and old men sitting in chairs on porches. 

3. Secretly wonder if your neighbors are judging you for the loud gun shot noises coming from your TV. 

4. Realize your heart is pounding faster than any workout you've done in the past week. 

5. Get overly emotionally attached to the bank robbers thanks to their bromance. 

6. Overcompensate for how tense the violent movie is making you feel by painting your nails in solid gold glitter. Decide to worry about explaining the professionalism of gold glitter nails to your boss later. 

7. Become obsessed with the history of bank robberies in Boston. Look up all the books you can find on bank robberies and download all the samples to your Kindle. 

8. IMDb every single actor and actress in the movie. 

9. Realize you're rooting for the bank robbery victim and bank robber to get together. Feel instant guilt at how psychotic that is. Look up Mass times to go pray for forgiveness because that is just screwed up. 

10. Wonder how Ben Affleck went from zero to hero. Wonder if this will rub off on his co-star Blake Lively, who is once again playing a beautiful drug addict. 

11. Become upset that the movie only has 15 minutes left. What will you do when it ends?

12. Consult Netflix for more bank robbery movies. Begin again.

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Mom, I Ate a Stranger's Hamburger (Again)

July 19, 2013

Hello friends!

I feel like some of you may think "I've been known to eat a stranger's hamburger" is just a catchy tag line I throw out there. So today, I'm here to tell you that I have now eaten not just one stranger's hamburger, but two stranger's hamburgers. I am immensely pleased (and well fed).

It all started when my friend Amanda and I were laying out at the pool. We were approached by Mark, a fellow tenant. Cool fact about Mark: he created the dispensing system that allows beverages such as lime-aritas to exist in this world. We sat for a while with Mark learning all sorts of things about 50 Shades of Grey (he doesn't understand the hype, but will finish the book eventually) and growing up (his nickname was gangster nerd) before we eventually moved onto Autumn's favorite topic--food. Mark offered to make us turkey burgers, and I accepted! But first, we had to drive him to WalMart so he could pick up some steel toed boots for his next work trip. I obligingly helped test them out for him by jumping up and down on his foot before he gently goes "Don't forget, only the toes are steel-covered, so if you could stop that'd be great."

This time, I even brought a leetle friend along with me to welcome her to life on The Unreal Side. Amanda (of #livedating fame), take it away!

Amanda, tell us--how convinced you were when Autumn turned to you and said "Stranger. One hour. Hamburger offer. I guarantee it." that this would actually happen? I knew it would happen.  When this girl sets her mind to something, she makes it happen.  The first weekend of being college roommates, we were getting ready to go out and Autumn turned to me and said, "I'm gonna make out with so-and-so tonight." She did and I've never doubted her since. 

Who was your favorite stranger we met at the pool that day? Laura? Lori? The fifty-some-year-old-lady who sat down next to Mark while he was talking to us.  I'm fairly certain the first thing she said to us was "I haven't had sex in 7 years" and then proceeded to give us some other explicit details about her (non existent) sex life.  

Tell us what was going through your mind when we got locked out of his apartment. At first I thought he was kidding.  Then I was worried someone would suggest taking the party to my apartment! 

What was the most interesting part of the hamburger experience? Mark trying to describe to us how to meet people and pick up chicks at the grocery store.  I had no idea it was such a science!

How did eating a stranger's hamburger make you feel? Full and satisfied. (And fat. He cooked the damn things with bacon grease.)

After your first experience, would you eat a stranger's hamburger again? To ever get myself into a situation like this again, Autumn would have to be present.  And if Autumn is present, the answer is yes. 

How would you describe this experience in 3 words or less? Strange, but memorable. 

Do you think eating a stranger's hamburger is an integral part of a full, unreal life? Most definitely.  

On a scale of one to ten, how scared were you that we had found a stalker? After serial killers class, I am always suspicious, but after his "you're not nervous are you?" I wasn't scared.  Of course, maybe after that comment I should have been.... 

Do you have a favorite quote from the evening? "I'm weird but I'm not a psycho" 

Are there any other pieces of the story I'm missing? Pickles + biceps = hilarious pictures. Pool drama. And the fact that Chris (with a C) asked which of us was the sane one and we both pointed at me.

Yaaaay Amanda made her first bloggy debut!!! 
Thanks for all the adventures, roomsicle =)

Oh, if that wasn't exciting enough, I'm participating in a giveaway too! Free hamburgers for me, and free prizes for you! For a full list of prizes, visit Kisses and Croissants--or just trust me that they're awesome.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Bling It On: Gettin' Glam with Hpnotiq

July 18, 2013

Hello dear ones! 

I'm here to let you know that I'm one step closer to meeting my celebrity BFF, Khloe Kardashian Odom. I am confident that given just one shopping day with Khloe, she would realize that we are meant to be best friends. We're both sassy, loud, confident women who like to speak the truth. How am I one step closer to this magical meeting of the sassy minds, you ask?

Hpnotiq's Bling it on! GLAM LOUDER contest. Four lucky winners will win $1,000 to spend on every girl's favorite accessory--handbags!--AND one lucky winner will win a personal shopping trip with Khloe Kardashian Odom. Now, we all know that I love myself a good vodka and a good purse, but when I heard that last bit....I jumped. 

So, how do you enter to win this amazing $1,000 towards your favorite designer handbag? Visit the Hpnotiq website here, and enter a photo of your glam look. Even better for those of us who can't take a serious photo, the glam look can be one of yourself or one that you find online. We just want to see what you think best represents glam. Check out the full contest rules here. Entries are open until July 28th, so enter for your chance to win NOW! 
When I think GLAM, I think of these leading ladies:
Source: My Pinterest
Now it's your turn. Leave a comment and cast your vote for which glam look below you think would win me the chance to meet KKO:

Don't forget, you have until July 28th to enter as many glam looks as you want for your own chance to win the $1,000 handbag prize! So go check out the rules, visit Hpnotiq's Facebook and submit your glam photo today! Remember, they couldn't make it any easier--it can be a photo of yourself or one you find online. 

GlamLOUDER, my friends--you're all beauties! 
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This is a sponsored post on behalf of Hpnotiq: GLAM Louder Bling It On campaign.
I was compensated for my time.

Mitten Pride

If you read my blog yesterday, you know that for a while now I've been in this awkward "transition" period oh wait that's called 20something life in general. Now that all the right things have been tied up neatly on my end, I'm so happy that I can finally share with you the big change coming my way:


I am SO excited to get back and get going on this next adventure called grad school! 

For your daily dose of Unreal awkwardness, please visit the lovely Patricia over at Kisses and Croissants. She's put together an awesome Throwback Thursday post about "The Craziest Thing You've Done for Love." Some of them are crazy stupid, some are crazy romantic...either way, they're all such a fun idea. So. Want to know what the dumbest thing I've done for love is? Here's a hint: it involves one of my favorite things ever, road tripping. Go check it out!

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On Being a Hot Mess

July 17, 2013

Let's whip out the honesty stick here. 

Why is it that the honesty stick comes out at the worst time? Like the day after you tell someone you actually know about your blog and that they can expect witty sass every day...and now already on day two you're letting them down. Susan, don't look at me in the hallway. Keep your eyes down. I'm sorry.
Sometimes, I am a hot mess. 
Here I am trying to take a bloggy picture,
but really just falling down some stairs.

The type of hot mess who doesn't unpack until the last minute. 

The type of hot mess who would rather turn her moving boxes upside down as makeshift nightstands and tables and shelves rather than buy permanent furniture. 

For ten months I've lived by the phrase
"If you put a big picture in front of it, no one will know."
Unfortunately I didn't have a big picture for the other side.

And recently, the hot mess who finds herself bawling her eyes out alone in her car at a stop sign. I caught myself thinking I haven't had a steak in a year. I haven't had a steak since I moved away from home. And that was it. Cue the water works. Not to be helped by the perfectly timed country song, Red Rag Top. 

But as my good friend Amanda (of #livedating fame shouldprobablygetherownaboutpagenow) said: If you're crying about a piece of red meat, you're probably not crying about a piece of red meat. Am I right?

She was right. Mostly I was crying because periods of transition are stressful. And I keep myself in them longer than I should. That awkward limbo between decisions? That spot where doubt, insecurity and stress run rampant? I need to learn to get out of that spot sooner. But I hate making choices and I would rather keep planning for all potential options as long as possible. But let me tell you, it's hard to make plans and fight off those evil little buggers called doubt and insecurity at the same time. 

It's about dreams. Broken dreams. Not the desolate, down in the dumps, utterly hopeless crushed dreams...but just the every day, transitory, goodbye to this stage, goodbye to this part dreams. It was about putting so much time and so much energy and so much effort into a dream...and having it break anyways. It's about putting these dreams to bed, and saying goodbye to the ones that guided me, goaded me, enchanted me, led me. Dreams that occupied me. Dreams that consumed me. Now their spot is done, and it's time to move on and get excited about the next set. 

Hot mess. 
The unseen shots before you get one blog-quality photo.

Lately, I'm the huge hot mess who's access to money has been cut off for approximately 10-14 days (thank you, man in India who stole my debit card information.). All my bills will be late. And it's forcing me to eat only from my fridge, which in a way is kind of refreshing. But at the same time, I'm really sick of eating tortilla shells. I don't know what I thought I was going to do with all of these tortilla shells. Save them for a broke day? Buh dum dum. 

So. That's where I've been. I couldn't be witty today. Because sometimes, I'm just a huge hot mess. 

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DIY: Live Like Ke$ha

July 16, 2013

Today I'm letting the most adorable Kailagh take over The Unreal Life, and I know it's in good hands. She has quickly grown to be one of my favorite bloggers to interact with. Her posts are charming, sincere and witty. So. Take it away, Kailagh. 

Hello ladies & gents! I'm Kailagh, I blog over at Love Always, Freckles. I blog about my everyday life, recipes, DIY's, my adventures of being a unicorn, and many delicious drinks. I want to specially thank Autumn for letting me come to the Unreal side and blog for you guys.

love always, freckles

I would consider myself a pretty outgoing, crazy person. The perfect way to describe my current life is the new Ke$ha album. Maybe not as intense, however. The reason I bring this up is because, while I was thinking about what I should write for this guest post, her song Die Young came on the radio. Instantly, millions of lightbulbs went off in my head. Like paparazzi status. I knew what to write about. How the average person can live their life with a Ke$ha attitude, going off her new album, Warrior.

In her first song titled Warrior, she sings about going out, being misunderstood, and embracing every bit of it. In the lines.

We were born to break the doors down, 
fight until the end. 
It's something that's inside of us, 
it's how its always been, yeah. 

Okay, now with those words in your head, you are about to go out. You might be a little timid, you could be in a new place, or out with new people. But you need to channel this song and remember You Are A Warrior. You "flirt with disaster" and "cut the bullshit out like a dagger" Don't be afraid. You are a strong women who walks into a room and runs it. Being your best self, and having confidence, not letting others ruin your night is what this song is.

Her song Die Young, the one currently on the radio, have you heard it? Have you embraced the lyrics?!

Young hearts, out our minds
running 'til we outta time
Wild child lookin' good
living heard just like we should. 
Don't care who's watching when we tearing it up. (You know)
That magic that we got nobody can touch (For sure)

You can apply this mentality anywhere. Going out, at work, at school, literally everywhere you need this. You need to look good! My moto : the world is your runway! Work it all the time, you never know when you are gonna meet the person of your dreams. Who cares what people think? When constantly faced with the fear of people not liking you, it can hold you back. Why does it matter what other people think. Just like Dr. Seuss said "Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive as Youer than you" (Dr. Seuss and Ke$ha in the same post is sorta strange) But here it applies. The magic inside of you, is something special. Embrace it! Like the song says "we're gonna die young" don't let people control you.

The last song I want to touch on, is the song All That Matters (The Beautiful Life) the line I'm gonna use is controversial. But before you get your panties in a bunch, read all of it and I will explain.

Been spending too much energy,
on stupid shit, when honestly. 
I wanna get high, just wanna get high
With everyone else here. 

I'm not saying you should go literally get high, let that be said. I like this quote because it is to the point. We, as nation, spend way to much time and energy on worrying and complaining about "stupid shit". Why? Why on earth do we do that. I have found that must people sabotage their own happiness. Well, when I am truly happy I feel incredible. One could say I am high on life! So really surround yourself with people who make you better, who you want to see succeed, and who are true to you. When you do this, you become happy, your happiness rubs off on other people, and then everyone is so happy. Hence the high feeling.

You see, literally everyone can live like Ke$ha. It all depends on how you interpret the lyrics. You need to channel your inner Ke$ha with confidence, a strong attitude, being happy all the time, and loving the crap out of your Unreal life! Do you channel a singer when going out, or for a confidence boost? Will you start now? Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this :)

County Fair, Missourah Style

July 15, 2013

Hi kids! Today's weekend update is just too big to be put into one, so I'm going to spread it out across the week (yes, it was epic enough that I can't even commit to containing it in a part one and part two). First off, let's start with THE COUNTY FAIR

More Trucks Than Cars by Craig Morgan on Grooveshark

My friend Amanda (of #livedating fame) and I went to college in a town which boasted "The World's Largest Fair!" I don't think you could graduate from that school without becoming straight up obsessed with county fairs. We got it into our minds that we needed to experience a county fair, Missourah style. And it did not disappoint. 

There were cows and pigs and corn dogs and fair queens and just about everything you could wish for. It was adorable and perfectly small town quaint. Though I did at times question whether the animals were actually raised with the intent to show, or if the kids just ran around their front yard on Thursday morning going "Oh shoot! We need a chicken for the fair!" 

Probably the cutest "welcome to the middle of Missourah" thing I saw was a hay slide. That's right. These little kids laid hay bales all down the side of a hill and then slid down it on cardboard. 

Middle Missourah: Where One Buck is Never Enough

This display was the first thing you saw when you walked into the county fair. Apparently, they really wanted to get the message across that illegal hunting is not acceptable. And since the county fair was the best place to showcase this message, I'll let you make the hop and skip over to the realization of what these people do in their free time when they're not sliding down hay slides. The middle picture is an alligator snapping turtle. Terrifying. 
Off I go! Monday has come out full force this week, yaaaaaay rapid fire emails in my inbox! Stay tuned tomorrow as we continue the weekend update with that time I ate a stranger's hamburger...again.
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Move Over, Carrie

July 13, 2013

Today's topic: At what point do you become responsible for another human being? 

This one's been percolating for a bit now. It may go around for a bit, but stick with me...we'll get there. You hear it a lot. "I told you not to expect anything." "It's your choice." "No one made that choice for you." "I don't owe you anything." 

I've heard it said from boys you have flirtatious flings with. They throw it out like a complete catch-all that will cover them should you try to push them for more than one night, surface-level conversation...once they say it--"I told you not to expect anything"--they act like they can get off Scott-free for the rest of your time together. 

But I've also heard it from boys who have made deep and grave promises to me. One boy, in particular. We had a ring, a date, a plan. And then he left me high and dry with no plans. Naturally what followed was a myriad of tearful conversations and screaming matches. And to this day, I will always remember the coldest smack in the face I ever received. After telling him how much he had hurt me and made me feel lost and alone with his action, he very quietly and simply said in the most even of carefree tones: "Why? Who am I?"

Who are you? You're the man I built my future plans with. You're my partner in this thing called love. You're my best friend. And even then, he wouldn't take responsibility for the fact that his actions hurt me. In his mind, the fact that I was unhappy and hurt was my choice and problem to deal with, not his. You made promises, I made choices. You broke those promises and now it' responsibility to pick up the pieces, while you have to deal with nothing?

Another example is from my mom and dad. Growing up, it was impossible not to notice that my father's mood always affected my mom's. How often do you remember making plans with one parent, only to have the other come home in a bad mood and have to cancel them? 

That's the type of responsibility I'm talking about. The ability to look someone in the eye and say: Who am I? I'm someone whose words, opinions and even moods influence the choices you  make. And I own up to that. You didn't make those choices alone. You were affected, by me. And that's a big deal. For both you and me. So I promise to be gentle and take care knowing that what I say carries extra weight. 

Which brings me to the what point do you become responsible for another person and the way your actions affect them? If you move in with your boyfriend and it doesn't work out and you move out, does he in fact have some responsibility for the emotions that follow? Or, was it really "your choice" and therefor your responsibility to deal with the outcome, whatever it may be? 

If you make your choices based on input from other people, 
what responsibility do they hold for the outcome of those choices? 
In a world where no one takes responsibility, 
is true love the best example of a self-sacrificing, pure miracle? 
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Move Over, Carrie is a whenever-I-feel-like-it series providing, hopefully, witty sociological commentary on modern relationship issues. 
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