Nine Stages of a Skype Date

August 29, 2013

1. Excessive, overly-eager greeting. Oh em geeeeeee tell me everything. 

2. Not sure how long the Skype date will last, start running over each other with stories. 

3. Find nearby object to play with. Water bottle? Fascinating!

4. Start doing things on camera that you would never actually do in real life if you were having a conversation. I have never re-done my top knot as many times as I do on an average Skype call. 

5. Lose all apparent interest in conversation. Start talking about how many calories you ate that day. Try balancing formerly rediscovered water bottle on your head. If you have a pet, start playing with the pet as opposed to talking. 

6. Stare anywhere but the camera. Has that paint chip always been there? 

7. Remember awesome story. Skype date now reignited and extended up to one hour. 
8. Try to get off Skype date. Fail. Three more stories must be told before either of you can get off. 

9. Awkward Skype goodbye. Is there anything more awkward than a Skype goodbye? Who will hang up first? Do you smile while you're clicking the red button? Because you know that frame freezes for a good three seconds on their end before dropping. What kind of face should you leave them with? 
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First Day Report

August 27, 2013

Yesterday was my first day of work at le new job, and my first day of graduate school. First days turn me into a neurotic psychopath. The following are just a sample of questions I asked myself (and many unfortunate souls within texting distance) on the first day:

1. Is there a place to put my lunch at my new job?
I didn't actually ask this. So I just kept it in my purse. 
Now I know.

2. What if I'm not smart at this anymore?

3. Will someone come up behind me and tell me I'm not actually talented at what I want to do, 
and ask me to leave the class?

4. Is it better to arrive early and let people sit next to you,
or arrive slightly late and scope out the best potential future friend to help you get through class?

5. Do you knock on the professor's door,
or just assume that if it is closed they are busy?

6. Do I risk getting a huge parking fine, 
or hunt down the security office for a temporary pass?

Considering I couldn't even find the computer lab, 
the answer was no, I did not hunt down the temporary pass.
But neither did I get a ticket so winner winner.

BUT....after all those endless questions...I SURVIVED. I went to the library and saw all the confused looking jocks using the tables as footstools and I gotta say, it made me feel better. And, in celebration of going back to school, all ads with The Unreal Life are 20% off with promo code 'LAKERS.' 

You know what else makes me feel better? GIVEAWAYS. The winner to my Birthday Giveaway is Kate from Another Clean Slate--CONGRATULATIONS!!! Ya won a bunch of cool shit so sit back and watch your email blow up with gifts from my amazing August sponsors.

And now here's more free money, thanks to myself and the lovely sponsors of Tales of a Twenty Something!! Don't stop, get it get it. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Buy Cheap Textbooks, Do Good for Kids

August 25, 2013

I can hardly believe it....but the first day of school is TOMORROW. I'm already seeing my social media accounts blow up with all the underclassmen I knew in undergrad going back to school. While I was insanely jealous last year, this year those tweets and pictures don't sting quite as much because I'm off to start my own graduate school adventures! So, what better time to talk about something essential to every student: textbooks, and more importantly--cheap textbooks. 

Students, have you heard about Campus Book Rentals? Let's get down to it--when shopping for books online, price is key. Low, low, low. Campus Book Rentals has some of the lowest around. But there are two reasons why I would pick this company over other online retailers: 

Reason 1:
Their new RentBack initiative. With Campus Book Rentals, you rent your textbooks out to other students when you're finished. What this means for you is that you can make 2-4 times more money, because you're skipping the cost of an intermediary online reseller. 

Reason 2:
Millenials have been called the most philanthropic generation to date...
but it's hard to be philanthropic while you're a broke student. 
Even if the desire is there, the funds often times are not. 
That's why I love that Campus Book Rentals partners with Operation Smile 
to make a donation each time a book is purchased through their site. You have to buy textbooks. So why not make your dollar go further, and help children everywhere get life-changing operations?

As you head back to school, be sure to keep Campus Book Rentals in mind for all your textbook needs. I'm off to bury my head in the books and sharpen those pencils!!! School supplies, my secret weakness. 
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This is a sponsored post on behalf of
All opinions are my own. 

Move Over, Carrie

August 24, 2013

Move Over, Carrie is a whenever-I-feel-like-it weekend series of The Unreal Life. No pictures. No GIFS. Just straight up (hopefully) witty, sociological discussion about modern relationships. 

Let's talk about something that's been on my mind all week. Because let's face it, people with intense guilt complexes let things percolate for probably longer than they should. 

Where is the line between being demanding and having self-respect?

In my relationships, I find that what the boy calls "demanding," I usually see as "No, I just know that I'm worth it." I know that I push boys to make very outright, obvious actions of their intentions/affections. If you like me, if you want me. 

And this lands me in hot water 90% of the time. Boys these days are very, very laid back (or maybe just the ones I'm attracted to?). They see my expectations for being pursued as demanding. I see it as having self-respect. I know I'm great. Do you? I respect myself enough to not continue dating someone who can't show me that he understands he's got a great person (And vice versa. I would not expect someone to keep dating me if I didn't show them that I appreciated the awesome person they are. Of course not.). 

So, ladies....
Where is the line between being demanding and having self-respect? 
In today's society, is "being pursued" out-dated and no longer practiced? 
Do you expect boys to show you they like you before you continue pursuing a relationship, or do you roll with the flow and think that will come with time?

Sound off! Your comments on Move Over, Carrie are my absolute favorites!!
I hope you enjoy this series as much as I do! Thanks for reading!

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Road Trip Tips and Tricks

August 23, 2013

If all goes according to plan, while this post is up I will be on my merry little way for a little pre-school, pre-work vacation to one of the most beautiful places in Michigan. I plan on laying on the dock for hours and hours and reading to my heart's content. But of course, before I get to the dock, I get to do one of my favorite things ever....ROAD TRIPPINNNNNNN. It's a little one, but every hour counts on the road to road trip glory. 

So, what can the following photo teach us about proper road tripping skills to make sure you cruise happily through the hours?

1. Make sure everything is in easy reach. Take time before you push that little stick thing into drive to make sure everything is appropriately spread out. This includes food, phone chargers, TomTom chargers, toll money, etc. You shouldn't have to dig for anything. Safety first!

2. Don't deny yourself. 42 ounce soda? Get it. Remember, the journey is the destination. Or whatever that quote says. Basically, enjoy yourself! The road trip isn't just your vehicle to the IS your vacation! 

3. Think ahead. Will you need a sugary snack in about an hour? Think ahead, purchase it with your lunch. Don't waste time stopping unnecessarily. 

4. Embrace truck stops. They are an untapped resource of ultimate entertainment. 

5. Sing your heart out. You have hours upon hours to be Beyonce, Rhianna, Kelly Clarkson, or whoever you want. You ARE Beyonce. You ARE an American Idol winner. Sing it girl. 

That's all I got! Over and out! Follow me on Instagram for photos of my beautiful island getaway!


Introducing the lovely Brooks of Cotton and Boots. Here's the thing. When I first saw Brooks' ad purchase came through, my hands shook a little bit. That's what they don't tell you about sponsoring. It's stressful. I love Brooks and her blog so much, that I got nervous that I wouldn't be able to do her justice. I need everyone to read it. Because once you do, you will fall head over heels with her. 

When people talk about "bloggy friendships," I think of Brooks. She has become my right hand, go to lady who I gchat, tweet and Facebook stalk e'ry day (sorry, Nick). I absolutely adore her. So, take a gander at her little spotlight...and then take a gander at her adorable, sweet, genuine, personable blog and see the best thing since Alabama's last national championship (loooove you Brooks). 

I'm just a southern girl living the nomad life, on an adventure to becoming a Mrs. Come visit and you'll see our adventures, learn a bit about nothing, and maybe even be inspired. Grab what ever tickles your fancy and stop by!

What aspect of married life are you most excited for?
Well, we're already living together, so that crosses that answer off. I suppose what I'm most excited about is to see where we are going. Living the nomad life (thanks a lot, construction), we have no idea where we will go next. So, I'm excited for our unknown adventures to be had!

What's the meaning behind your blog title 'Cotton and Boots'?
It's a vague one, isn't it? When I first started into the crazy blog world, I wanted to document my wedding planning. But, in all seriousness, who wants to read just that? No one. So it's evolved a bit. Cotton and Boots are what I'm incorporating into the wedding, a staple in the South, and what I'd wear every day, if I could.

What's one of your guilty pleasures?
Now that I'm this health kick? Coke Icees. Oh man, I could drink one every day and be a happy girl.

List one more fact that we really need to know about you.
My eyes are different colors. Gasp - say what?! Yeah, you can't really tell that much.. but they are. One's green and the other's blue. It depends on the day when you see the difference. Your world is completely changed now, right?

Favorite Posts: 
Dear 16 Year Old Me ( will make you say aww out loud no matter where you are)
My Body Is Not Perfect (preach it sista)
Country Slang 101 (also named Giggle 101)

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Green Giant Review--Sponsored Post

August 22, 2013

Hi friends!

It's pretty common knowledge that when looking to lose weight, the quickest solution is to cut out all those unnecessary snacks. You know. Those sneaky ones at 3 p.m. in your cubicle that turn into all-afternoon snacking sessions because you're so bored. Or that 9 p.m. "just a quick snack" that turns into eating the full contents of your fridge by midnight. Anyone? Anyone? I know it's not just me. 

When trying to eat healthy, I find cutting out snacks to be the hardest part. Sometimes you just want a snack. And one that isn't liquid hummus or yogurt. Insert solution: Green Giant's new Veggie Chips. 

A few weeks ago, I was contacted regarding trying out Green Giant's new Veggie Chips. I was pretty excited to see if this could be a healthy snack option while trying to maintain better eating habits. So I put it to the ultimate test: road tripping. 

Road trip essentials: veggie snack chips? We'll see...

It's no secret that I'm obsessed with road trips and with the awesome goodness of gas station snacks. So, could Green Giant Veggie Chips curb my snack attacks and keep me on the road and out of the 9 million truck stops I passed? Answer: yes

What I liked best about these chips is that they actually make you feel full. They taste great, they're crunchy and flavorful...but after one handful, I was done. And I liked that. Unlike a traditional bag of chips, you really do feel like you're just done after one handful. 

So, if you're looking for a healthy alternative snacking choice, keep Green Giant Veggie Chips in mind next time you're at the store. They stood the road trip test.

Have you tried Green Giant Veggie Chips?
Dip them in something yummy?
If so, share any recipes below! 

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I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Confessions of a Demanding Human

Sometimes I think that self-discovery of the fundamentals of your personality is done. But it isn't. Every once in a while you hear something about yourself and you're like...wait...what? Aww shit. Yeah.

Recently, I was told that I was too demanding. And while I would like to crawl under a table and pretend this isn't's not the first time I've heard this. Being demanding makes me very successful in certain areas of my life....and not so successful in others. Womp womp, c'est la vie. So of course, as in all issues where I'm questioning my future status as a cat lady, I turned to my friend Elliott for support. 

There are few people who can insult me for two hours straight on Skype and get away with it. My friend Elliott probably being one of the few. And by few I mean Elliott has the ability to constantly bring me back to earth...which as a self-admitted high maintenance woman, I could use every once in a while. 

Within the first minute he told me I looked like an epileptic goldfish who smelled like mayonnaise. 

Then I tried to tell him my story about being told that I was too demanding. I was expecting support. What did I get? Straight up laughter. He rolled. Like he was literally rolling on the other side of the computer. 

He proceeded to tell me "You're not demanding, you're just really really mean to people you don't know. And that comes off as, no you're demanding too." 

Shit, guys. How will I make friends? How will I ever have a successful man friend relationship? It's true. I am super mean to people in those first few weeks. If I was going to go all Freud on myself here, I would say that it's because I like to know how long they plan on sticking around before I throw myself into anything. Doorstep baby problems. 
So, that was my wake up call from Elliott. He told me he loves me, but I am super rude in the first two weeks. But very worth it afterwards, he assured me. Apparently I am quite the loyal, friendly gem...if you can survive the first three weeks. Then he decided to take matters into his own hands and tweet to the person who triggered this conversation "I agree. She is super demanding."

Because my friend is a 12 year old boy. Awesome. Thanks, Elliott. 
But I can't even be mad at him. 
Because I need to live on his couch when I'm a demanding cat lady. 

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P.S. Today is the LAST DAY to enter the birthday giveaway! Winner will be announced Monday. So head on over, check out my loverly sponsors and enter to win some great prizes! XOXO

You Don't Know Oprah

August 21, 2013

Today I have the most beautiful and witty Sevi from Ware is the Vodka. I truly have enjoyed getting to know Sevi this month, and love how she keeps it real in all her posts. She's got sass, and then some. 

Howdy Unreal Life Fans!  I’m Sevi and I’m the lady in charge over at Ware is the Vodka?!? I do hope that you drop on by, have a drink, and if you like to sew…check out a project or two from my blog. I promise you, I don’t disappoint (or at least I like to think that). Huge shout out to Autumn for having me guest post! This is my first guest post and I’m a little nervous and jittery at where even to begin. I couldn’t have a better first time opportunity with anyone else, because as unreal as Autumn’s life may be she is an absolute doll.

I’m about to get real with you on The Unreal Life. There are two people in life that I firmly believe we are on a first name basis and would be the best friends ever, Beyonce and Oprah. You see, like Beyonce and Oprah, I am pretty phenomenal. Slowly, I am waiting for my big break to sit on a yacht with Bey, Jay, Little BIC, Oprah, and Stedman enjoying fine wines and decadent meals.

Imagine the distraught when I got word that someone (in case you missed it) didn’t know who Oprah Winfrey was. I was sad for them, it’s freaking OPRAH.

 After the distraught phase, I found it hysterical. You really don’t know Oprah. I mean tell me one person who did not cry at the last episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Oh, that’s right – the store clerk in Switzerland….

Then it dawned on me that Oprah was trying to contemplate buying a $38,000 handbag…. Is it made of gold? Do they skin the hide right there in front of you?

Oprah, really? IS IT MADE OF GOLD?!?

Game recognize game Oprah, you are a baller. We all know this.

Unfortunately, I’m not rolling like that because home girl can’t even decided on a $30 purse from Target most of the time. I hope we can still be friends. What I can offer you is the fact that if you were to pass me in the street, I would recognize you in a hot second. You would probably need to call security on me! As fabulous as you are, I am a little disappointed in you for not standing your ground on the handbag situation. Beyonce said it best: if you got it, flaunt it. No need to apologize for calling that store out in Switzerland (spend yo’ money Oprah), take some notes to an expert. I call people out all day, errryday – and I’m just a little ol’ blogger who thinks her writing is half decent. I may not be you, but I make sure people know who I am.

So O (can I call you O?), get back on your level lady.

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