Dating Disasters: Cuddling

June 25, 2013


I went on a first date that was going very well, until that awkward moment when the first date activity is done and you're just standing there like uhhhhh what now? So of course, being the awkwardly unreal girl I am, I let the awkward silence sit for a few minutes before going "So uhhhh what now?" He looks at me with doting eyes. Wraps his arms around my waist. And says:

"I just want to take you somewhere and cuddle."


The following conversation ensued:
Boy: I just want to take you somewhere and cuddle.
Me: Uhhhhh....no. 
Boy: Babe...
Me: Yeah. Not happening on our first date.
Boy: Why not?
Me: That's just way, way too much for a first date. Too fast.
Boy: I mean come on, it's not like we're having sex or anything.

Back. The. Fuck. Up. 

Let's talk about it. Sure, 'cuddling' has cute connotations of puppy love and chemistry and attraction and intimacy. But what is it really? When you break it down, cuddling is letting another person physically hold your body with their arm around your waist or shoulders, generally with some motion from their other hand of stroking your hand or thumb or arm gently or playing with your hair. 

Now back to the first date. First date. You are a stranger. A literal stranger. Replace the word stranger in that definition: letting a stranger physically hold your body with their arm around your waist or shoulders, generally with some motion from the stranger's other hand of stroking your hand or thumb or arm gently or having a stranger play with your hair. 


Dictionary.com defined cuddle as "to fondle in the arms." Would you let a stranger fondle you in the arms? 

Excuse me while I go gag in the bathroom. 

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22 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Oh goodness, that's no good..... umm, this stranger sounds just a little bit on the creepy side!

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  4. Geez, I'd never say yes either. But Niccicola saying it right above, how attractive is he? (Insert something evil)
    Got you from Sarah's blog & congratulations for winning. Can't wait to stalk ya!

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  5. TO FONDLE IN THE ARMS bahahahaha I'm dying

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  6. What the heck?! I love the 2nd gif. Too funny.

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  7. Ha! I wonder how many times that line has worked for him. Hopefully not often/never.

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  8. Haha hilarious! Hopefully he hasn't had that line ever work for him. That would be tragic.

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  9. Bleh, that is too creepy. Too much dude, it's a first date!!

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  10. OMG this just happened to me too but it was the second date!! I said sorry dude that is 4th or 5th date material, keep it in your pants! Surprisingly we are not dating any longer, I know, big surprise!!

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  11. BAHAA! wow! well the guy had some guts at least..... lol

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  12. LMAO shoulda known better than to take a sip of diet sunkist before i read this!! almost choked!!! "i just wanna take you somewhere and cuddle" ??!!

    take it from this investigation-discovery-obsessed gal ... anytime someone says they wanna TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE ... runnnnn the other way!! hahahaha

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  13. I think the fact that he called you babe is just as unsettling... let's save pet names for after you meet the family, mmmkai thanks. Creeeeeeeeep.

    www.nobodylikesgisele.com

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  14. Hahaha! That's so weird. I would be like GTFO weirdo!

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  15. found you thru your guest post at a blogger friend of mine. figured I'd come check you out since your wallet deal was funny.

    It's stuff like that to which I'm glad I only went on one online dating date. never again.

    pinkowl07.blogspot.com

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  16. Oh my goodness this made me laugh! Fondling with the arms!!!

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