Mardi Grammys: Weekend Update

Friday:
Celebrated the end of PTL problems by tanning, gyming, and drinking.

Saturday: 
My first ever Mardi Gras. Or as I like to call it, the all-day adult frat party. How is it an adult frat party? Well first of all it starts at like 8 am (not cool) and goes all day, just like a real day of work. Also, your boss is there--but unlike work work, you give a running jump and hug because you're two hurricanes in and the world seems like such a happy place!

It is also the perfect holiday for needy, insecure people because you get immediate gratification through BEADS--a direct representation of how much people like you and how pretty you are. And there are so many different kinds too! Heaven. After collecting my beads and bar hand stamps, my friends and I closed the evening with some Downton Abbey (holla), and I also sang a little diddy to my friend's cat (yeah, I took our friendship there).

                         

Wrapping it up with some Downton Abbey 

 

I LOVE BEADS

***Afterword: So, this happened. That's right, my boss sent me this today. Apparently I also made besties with his boyfriend and we proceeded to make a valentine for our dear boss/boyfriend.

Sunday:
If you read last weekend update, you know recovery is not a quick thing for me. So Sunday went slowly, and mostly in my bed. Until I moved to the couch to watch the Grammys. Also, live tweeting the Bachelor and awards shows is one of my most favorite thing ever. Anyways, general comments about the Grammys:

• Taylor, hope you were taking notes from Miranda on what a real country performance looks like (and sounds like). Also, noticed you had to bring a girl(space)friend because you scared all the boys away. I suggest you try eating a cheeseburger every once in a while--you'll look less like a fragile, breakable creature and it will even out your crazy mood swings. 
• Adele, you're still my top betch and an inspiration  Best presenter speech all night: "Whoever wins best album of the year usually goes on to huge international fame. Or, they just get knocked up like last year's winner."
• Between JT's sudden switch into sepia tone, Carrie Underwood's dress, the Bob Marley tribute and Frank Ocean's wierd background video of cheerleaders flying over mountains, I found myself questioning my sobriety at several points that evening.

• Grammy categories that should've been: Best Lipsync, Most Overused Commercial Song
• I don't what "Urban Contemporary" is, but I do know Chris Brown lost and that makes me happy/puts Rhianna in danger.

Aaaaaand that's all folks. Stellar weekend. Don't forget to link up with Sami for Weekend Update! (Pictures to come when I get out of work!) Also if you're obsessed with live tweeting the Bachelor/awards shows like I am, be sure to follow along with @thejanklife! 

Bachelor Week 4: Recap

Watching girls play roller derby really does help bring out wifey material. Wait what?

Bachelor Recap Wk 3: how did we get here?

So now that I've done my link-ups for the day, let's talk about something that we all care about and that would all make us bond 20% faster than a blog link up (kidding but not)... The Bachelor. Week 3.

Here are my notes/questions/comments/concerns/WTF moments:

Let me get this straight. Sean is vocal about being a "born-again virgin"...but he's ok with allowing millions of women to fantasize about him by making sure each episode opens with a montage of his shirtless muscles followed by a steamy shower? Really? Really?

Born-again virgin? Mmm...doubtful.

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This show ONLY works because everyone is CONSTANTLY DRUNK. If I took a shot every time there was a screen shot where someone WASN'T holding a drink, I would never take a shot, basically. Also, they're always by a BEACH. Give me a constant supply of alcohol, a sexy man, and the beauty of a beach and of course I can fall in love in 9 weeks. Durrr.

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Why do these girls get all freaked out about group dates? Ladies, you have watched this show before. You KNOW group dates are part of the gig. Why are you surprised you're going on one? Why add extra stress to your life by bitching about something you can't change? Group dates have been here, are here, and will continue to be here all season long. Get over it.

Also..."this volleyball game is THE most important moment of my life?" Really? Really? I'm going to play that clip back to you on your wedding day (which FYI, most likely will not come from this show), or when your first child is born, or when you get that next job promotion.

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Is it just me, or are the girls this season INSANE? It's week three and they're already talking about how in love they are? And crying because they don't get to spend more time with him? You've had how much interaction with him at this point...30 minutes...tops? You are not IN LOVE with him, he is not "EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DREAMED OF IN A HUSBAND." How could you POSSIBLY tell if he is everything you ever dreamed of in a husband after 30 minutes?

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How much must it suck to have gone through years of schooling, only to be the producer who has to drive across the country and get a stupid dog for 45 seconds of camera time?

Also, remember, having one arm doesn't prevent her from falling in love...though it is 90% of what she talks about.

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Here's how I feel about Sean's comment to Kacie B: "why are you even getting involved in these things?" I'm sorry Sean, but she LIVES with these crazy women 24/7. What would you like her to do? Sit in her bedroom, door locked, and solely think about you, your abs, and your potential relationship? Realistically, she's going to get involved in drama because realistically, she's not just there to sit and think about you every second of every day. Over it.

    

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Departure scenes: Please, women, stop crying hysterically. Again..you knew him for THREE WEEKS. The worst was when that woman starts bawling and takes Sean's rejection as a personal commentary on her readiness for marriage. "I guess marriage just isn't in the cards. I thought I was open to love, but maybe I need to reassess." Babe, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You couldn't find love in front of 26 other fighting women and 90 camera crewmen? You're fine. Don't take it personal.

   

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And finally...my biggest gripe with the last episode...AshLee. Dont' get me wrong--love 'er. Great gal. But it made my mouth drop open, eyes bulge, face burn when she told Sean her adoption story and then during her little off-camera monologue talks about how wonderful it felt that he "didn't respond negatively and didn't condemn her." What? How can anyone respond negatively to you sharing that story? Or being adopted? What the hell.

P.S. Do you think any season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette has ever been subjected to a mid-season lip herpes break out? He just kissed like..20 girls in one week. That is some serious germ-spreading.