Cheers to You

February 24, 2014

Here's the thing. A long time ago, I wrote how I wanted to be more honest on this blog. Because when I'm not honest, I tend to just not write at all and that's unfortunate because I do love writing. Because when I'm not honest, I tend to write...6 posts per month? Wowza. 

A few weeks ago, I asked readers what they wanted to hear about on The Unreal Life. And a few of you commented, "just more about what's going on in your life. What have you been doing?" And I just really genuinely could not answer that. Looking back, the past two-ish months have been filled with some of the most ridiculous highs and lowest lows I can remember in my life. Not the hardest, and not the happiest. I'm merely commenting on the frequency of these two extremes. It just seems that for the longest time now, it's been back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 

Last night, I had to email a professor back about how I hadn't been able to turn around a conference attendance application quick enough. And I stumbled over the words. Because the truth was, I couldn't do it because I just had too much personal shit going on then to do anything but the bare minimum academic wise. But there's not a good way to type that. There's not a good way to type, I was busy holding my shit together.

But sometimes isn't that all you want to type? And sometimes isn't that the only justification you need? Life happens. Shit happens. And sometimes, holding yourself together and getting through it all without losing your ever loving mind is all the accomplishment you need. 




So I made a list. A list of all the unexpected, unplanned, mental, physical and emotional events (both good and bad) that have categorized my month of extremes. 
Job interviews
Fellowship interviews
Job searching
Weighing choices
Doctor's appointments
Sickness
Babies
Surgeries
Engagements
Moving news
Start of a new fellowship
Breaking up
Dealing with a manic-depressive
Dealing with a psycho
Work issues
Coming back together
Coming maybe not back together

And on and on. All while attending graduate school full-time, completing all assignments, and working four nights per week. And general life maintenance--bills, showers, groceries.

Then I made a second list. A list of all the things I had dropped the ball on while dealing with these other things. Guess how many things made that list? Four. FOUR. And one of them was a freaking coffee date. So that only counts like half. Guys, I cut myself no slack during this time. I had a huge influx of things drawing my attention, and I just stepped up more. And when I looked at it that way, I felt good.

I held my shit together. 

To be truthful: sometimes during this past month my version of "cutting myself slack" was to give myself timed periods throughout the day to crawl back under the covers and just close my eyes. Not to sleep. I just wanted total blackness. I'd set my alarm for 5 minutes. And then I'd go back to facing everything. But this Sunday during one of my little mental health breaks in the total dark, I thought this isn't enough anymore. I felt my mojo coming back. I didn't just want to survive, I wanted to excel. I wanted to be productive and in charge and confident about pushing my life where I wanted it to go. 

All this to say, I hope I can maintain that feeling throughout the week. Because Lord knows this to-do list is not one that can be pushed back. 

And for you who made it through this whole post, cheers to you! And hopefully more than one of you is nodding her head and saying "Me too! Me too!" CHEERS TO YOU TOO. If you've been a ball of stress or going through crazy things, take that time to pat yourself on the back. Because holding yourself together IS an accomplishment, and it's okay to give ourselves credit for that. We're so busy always chasing for the next thing we can put on a resume and move on from, that sometimes we're scared to reduce it to the simple things. You made it. Cheers. Cheers to everyone.

Anyone else feel this?
What's something you'd like to give yourself a pat on the back 
for accomplishing in the past month?

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13 comments:

  1. You made it. You are making it. You will make it. It's hard to brush off the bullshit when it's all over you. But you're doing it!

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  2. I think if you need a break, you need a damn break. Life never stops coming at you fast, ride the wave and do what you need to do to stay afloat. And when all else fails... alcohol! ;)

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  3. Keeping your head above water, even if your arms and legs are freaking the eff out underneath, is absolutely something to be proud of. You survived! You did it! And just remember - you did all of this in a shorter-than-the-rest month :)

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  4. I definitely feel the whole not wanting to blog when you aren't feeling honest thing...exactly why I've posted only twice in the past two months. Oh well, sometimes life is hard and ya just don't wanna blog about it! Just reading about how much you've taken on makes me want to crawl into bed. YOU GO GIRL!

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  5. Cheers to you for sure! Sometimes the waters get choppy, just keep riding the waves and keep your head up girl. You'll be a-ok.

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  6. I gave up on blogging and now really feel the need to get back to it at possibly the busiest time in my little life. Working 2 jobs, doing a university degree from home, going to the gym and trying not to be that friend that bails on everything while getting enough sleep to function is proving to be difficult but life is short, so I feel your pain and hopefully in the next week or so I will human enough to write my first blog post since October

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  7. You've survived. I'm glad you're getting through all the craziness. And I hope things are better now.

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  8. Holy! You've definitely had a lot going on. Major props to you for staying strong and holding it together. I should take a lesson from you on holding it together because sometimes I'm not very good at that!

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  9. You are awesome. Life is such a bitch sometimes, but keeping it all together is the best we can do.
    You go girl!

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  10. You got this girl! You're going to get through everything & you're going to get through it well!

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  11. I LOVE this post. I have had a lot going on in my life lately and this has made me feel good about just holding my shit together. I actually took a few weeks to kinda be lazy (only to a degree, I do have a toddler) but cut back on work and chores and I am starting to feel a little better and ready to get my ass back in gear.

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