Move Over, Carrie: Work

February 22, 2014

Last week, there was a good ol' link up floating around called "Why We Work." I don't know about you, but I spent the better part of my Valentine's Day watching Frank Underwood and clicking every other submission on that link up. Does anybody else actually still read link ups? Or do they just use it as a convenient topic starter for the day? Moving on. Or should I say-Move Over, Autumn this is getting dull. Ha? Ha.

Here's the point. 

It seemed to me in perusing quite a few of these that there were two "camps": 
1. Genuine, deep-seeded "puppy love" (but beyond the puppy stage into mature, but still cute, grown dog stage?) of holy shit, they just make the most adorable pair and they complete all these individual quirks the other has. They truly are just the best of partners and friends.
2. "We work because we work."

Camp 2 was most fascinating. Maybe they were more honest than Camp 1. Maybe Camp 1 also has hard times they just didn't write about (I mean, everyone has hard times). If you clicked through any of the posts, you might have noticed this clear division too. And it seemed more significant than just "I don't want to write about the bad stuff, so I'm going to keep it light." It was a genuine sense of some people just blend so easily, and other people don't--but they still choose each other. 

But there were quite a few I read where they just genuinely said, on a regular basis, we just want to walk away. It's hard. It's not natural, blending two lives. It doesn't come easy. And I just found it so interesting, this clear division. This one group saying "I can't imagine a day without him." And another group saying "I can very clearly imagine a day without him, and that day might actually be better than a day with him. But we stick it out." 

What I'm really interested in today is your opinion. Normally, I share mine. But for now, I'm just not sure where it's at. 

How do you know when a relationship is too much work?
What's the difference between "everything good is worth working for,"
and "but it shouldn't be this hard"?
Would you describe your relationship more as "work"?
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  1. Ok first of all I still read link ups when I participate. Second of all I didn't see this link up but I'm really interested in it so I'll get back to you on this one.

  2. I definitely still read link up posts. As for my opinion... hmm. I feel like you definitely need to put work into the relationship but if you don't go to bed at the end of the day still absolutely loving this person, then I think it is time to reevaluate. I grew up with the firm belief that you should never go to bed angry. An ensure you aren't always going to like everything then other does but you should always be able to say that you love them.

  3. Some of the best relationship advice I ever received was in high school -- "Go with it until the bad outweighs the good." There's plenty of bad in any relationship - particularly relationships with me because I'm kind of a mess and kind of an OCD freak and kind of a bossy bitch when I don't get my way - but you stick with the ones where the good outweighs it. It kind of goes to both camps -- it works because it's natural and we click, and on the days when the bad starts to get louder than the good, we work at it and we work to reset that balance of Good Is Bigger Than Bad.


  4. It's so different for everyone, and it's such a different story for every relationship. I was always the girl that ran every time anything seemed hard because "it wasn't right" You should know a relationship is good when you want to work through the bad, and you keep fighting for each other even when you want to give up.
    Like I said it is so hard until you are in that situation but I think you need to have the communication aspect, it's the BIGGEST thing. It can make or break your entire relationship.
    Ugh, it's SUCH a loaded question..I feel like I am just rambling;)
    Very good post though, I totally agree with everything you said!

  5. I was one that wrote about it being hard work...and have only been married for 8 months. All relationships take work - there are days when I want to even kill my best friend but then I can't imagine living with out her. Yes there are terrible, bad, horrible days in my marriage that I lock myself in a room and just cry. But the good days far outweigh the bad days. I once read a rule that said it should be 1-5. For every one bad thing there should be 5 amazingly good things.


Your comments make my day! Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.

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