Breakfast Alternative, Where Art Thou?

September 12, 2013

I hate breakfast food. 


There. I said it. The secret is out. I hate it. Pancakes, waffles, sunny side eggs...disgusting. All of it. 

What really grinds my gears the most about breakfast food is this: Who decided that certain foods should only be eaten in the morning? Who decided which foods would qualify for this? And if breakfast really is the most important meal of the day, why are most breakfast foods sugar-based? Why do some people think brinner is the best thing since sliced bread? And why is sliced bread our comparison for greatness?

I get really, really irrationally worked up about this. I remember getting my Big Sister for my sorority and filling out my "Get To Know Me" sheet. For "Favorite Breakfast Food" I wrote in large capitals with lots of underlines I HATE ALL BREAKFAST FOOD. Turns out our family tradition was monthly breakfasts at a diner. Womp womp. 

Sometimes, being a breakfast-hater is a lonely thing. Sometimes, people hold unnecessary grudges against breakfast-haters. For example...

During our first week of class, we had to write an interesting fact about ourselves to give to our professor. The boy next to me and I were struggling. I don't really keep a list of interesting facts about me tucked away, no matter how many times I've played two truths and lie or gone through a sorority recruitment event. So eventually, I wrote "I hate all breakfast food." 


He literally, physically recoiled. He recoiled from my interesting fact. 

So here we are. Three weeks later. Two hours into our three hour class. And we're chatting a little bit about our other mutual class and paper topics and I said something about being done with an assignment he hadn't started and I hear "well at least I like breakfast food."

I'm sorry. What? It has been THREE WEEKS. Can we get past this please? 

And then he proceeded to name every single breakfast option and ask me. No. No. No. Finally, I give in. 

Well, I do like corn beef hash, I say. 

HE RECOILS AGAIN. AGAIN. 
"Of all the breakfast foods, and that's the one you like?"

The end. 


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26 comments:

  1. I like dinner food for breakfast, spaghetti, hot dogs, steak, Ramen noodles. I don't even care if people think I'm weird or not that's what I want to eat.

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  2. I hate breakfast food too, don't you worry. So much, in fact, that I just don't eat breakfast unless it's hashbrowns. Those are basically fries anyway, right? Brinner makes me want to vomit. Was eating that crap once a day not enough for you?

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    1. Seriously. I don't understand the appeal of brinner.

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  3. Corn beef hash is a breakfast food? Really?! Wow, what a difference an ocean makes huh?

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    1. What is it where you are from? (slash where are you from?)

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  4. Hahahaha ohhh he's got to let it go! I like cereal. But I like cereal that's basically dessert, like reeses puffs and lucky charms. So I don't know that that counts. And I only eat it for dinner. So we're both screwed up, whatever.

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    1. I never understood the appeal of cereal. When I was a kid my mom would try to make me eat it so I would just shove it in my cheeks and then spit it out in the bathroom.

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  5. You're right though... why can't like sandwiches and ice cream and CAKE be breakfast foods?!

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    1. Ice cream has just as much sugar as some of those cereals. Get real, people.

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  6. BAHAHAH it totally agree. I have to be in an exceptional type of mood to want breakfast!!! I generally hate it all.

    AMEN

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    1. Yay for finding so many people who also hate breakfast foods!!

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  7. hahahaha you would think he invented breakfast! so offended.
    what about toast? english muffin? oatmeal? nothing? no?

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  8. I LOVE ALL BREAKFAST FOOD!!! (except corn beef hash.... and bacon--I loathe bacon!)

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    1. noooooooo CBH is the best. We had it every weekend growing up when we went camping, so I'm very sentimental.

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  9. Haha! Tis is great. I'm a little in your boat where I like (but not love) breakfast food but don't like it before 10am. Fruit I can handle in the morning. French toast? Save it for dinner please!

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  10. haha - well apparently we are opposites in this area because i am a breakfast LOVER and it's almost always a must have. ha. eh, can we still be friends?! lol. just found your blog from...ummm, I really don't know how, either way, I'm friend #201 but you can call me Whitney - come say hi if you get a chance. I really love making new blogging friends!

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  11. I am a recovered breakfast hater. I seriously didn't eat breakfast food for the last three years of high school (when my mom quit forcing me) and the first three years of college. Then, one day I read this article all about the health benefits of breakfast... blah, blah, blah. I mean, I was doing just fine by drinking a Diet Pepsi and eating a back of chips around 10 or 11. I mean, I wasn't even HUNGRY when I woke up! Literally, the smell of breakfast food would make me want to barf!

    Then, a friend (who read the same article) challenged me to eat breakfast for a month. I'm not the kind of girl that backs down from a challenge, so I agreed. Loooonnggg story short -- I'm a total breakfast lover now. My stomach is growling within about 10 minutes of waking up and I get über cranky if I don't eat fairly quickly.

    Change happens man.

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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    1. Bahaha you crack me up. I thought (/hoped) that having a steady 8-5 job for a year would cure me of my breakfast hatred-I hear all these great things about it's health benefits. But it didn't. I still hate it. I'm a lost cause =(

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  12. i feel like i don't even know you anymore.

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  13. I LOVE breakfast--I have to eat about 30 minutes within getting up or I feel sick--but I also like to eat strange things for breakfast, like tuna fish and leftover fried chicken. Once, I ate all the leftover green bean casserole at 6 in the morning!

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