The Heebie Jeebies

October 8, 2013

Like Mindy Kaling, I have been known to sleep with a well stocked arsenal of defense weapons within easy reach at all times--pepper spray, an empty wine bottle (to hit them over the head with, of course), a knife and sometimes an extra knife just to be sure. And my cell phone. To call the police when the intruder is dead on my bedroom floor. 

I was going to write a comical "hahaha I'm 23 and I can't sleep alone" post detailing the trials of having to sleep on my sister's couch every time my parents roommates go on vacation...but then, the following happened. 

Yesterday morning, I was awakened by my car alarm going off at 5:30 am. I ran upstairs and clicked the key fob in every single possible combination (does anyone ever remember what button it actually is the first time?) to get the stupid thing to shut up, and went back to bed. My dad wondered what it was, and I said "hopefully not a human." But given the fact that we live in a very safe area yada yada we decided maybe a branch had fallen on it from the storm (but not a big enough branch to necessitate going outside to check). 

So, fast forward to a few hours of patchy sleep later...I get ready to leave for the day and low and car door is open. It WAS a human. A human DID try to break into my car. Screw you, unknown human. 

In conclusion, I am now terrified and plan on sleeping with at least three knives. 

If you live alone, how do you not scare yourself to death every single night?
Do you sleep with defensive weapons by your bedside?

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  1. ^^ super relevant to the post lol

    I freak out ALL THE TIME when I'm home alone. We live in a building with a 24 hour doorman staff... I AM FINE. But I freak out. And always seem to end up watching freaking Law & Order SVU before bed and I generally am just a spaz. Check out my "Up All Night" post from last fall.. oy

  2. I was thinking--no, I don't keep weapons around when I sleep...and then I remember the gun under my bed. But it's in its case, so it's not really easily accessible at all, unless I remember when the key is. My husband did come home from work last week and ask why there was a curtain rod leaning against the wall. I heard weird noises, and the curtain rod was handy!

  3. I'm a big chicken too. Living alone for a year was SO difficult. I'm glad to be back at my parents for that reason alone. Oh and to save money, cause that's nice. PS don't forget about Bow Wow tonight :)

  4. I hate being alone. Hate it. I keep all the lights on and when it's bed time I just lay there thinking of all the horrible things.

  5. Freaky! I live with Hawkeye, I think she'd alert me if anything tried to get in (because she does at least bark if someone makes a noise by the door). And then I'd shoot it. And probably get closer and shoot it again or stab it, just to make sure. Then call the cops. Priorities.

  6. I can freak myself out if I think about it too much, but my husband owns six swords (that he knows how to use) and that makes me feel pretty protected. We also live on the second floor and have one of the deadbolt locks that you can only lock from inside, so I should be 100% fine, but I still wonder "what if".

  7. I live by myself and it terrifies me sometimes! Especially when my dog barks at northing :/ Main reason I got a dog was cause I knew I would be living by myself! He is my first line of defense, after that comes the camping hatchet I keep under my bed in arms reach and the knife behind my bed on my windowsill. Oh and I have a plan of attack - where I will run and hide etc. Haha sooooo paranoid!

  8. My mother and I live together and the thought of someone breaking in and murdering us terrifies me. I am always so scared of any noise that occurs in the dark. Haha.

  9. I spent the entire summer alone and it took a lot of balls to sleep alone, especially because I live in a shady neighborhood. I don't have any weapons, but I always HAVE to keep the TV on so that I don't let the outdoor sounds creep me out.

  10. that's why we have guns.
    fuck with me breakers and enterers. i dare you.


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