Police, Hangovers, and Trivia

February 4, 2013


So Friday night I attended my first ever TRIVIA NIGHT. Here in the STL, they are a big deal. A cultural staple, if you will. Like beer, baseball and Clydesdale horses. They are like a giant potluck/booze fest where people occasionally also answer trivia questions (to validate why they're there drinking, boozing and eating). All of the money goes to different philanthropies--the one I was at was supporting building a library for a junior high that only accepts in-need students (of which there are many in STL). Anyways, bottom line--AWESOME event. However, after some Swedish fish vodka (of course I put Swedish fish IN the Swedish fish vodka) and a few turns from the good ol' box' o' vino, I decided to visit the silent auction. Now kids, when I was growing up, my father would always visit silent auction tables and put his name down just to "up the ante" as he would say. He was convinced it would inspire other people to bid. Really, it was 50/50 whether this worked. I got sent to pick up some weird shit in my day--collages of wine corks, necklaces made of maps, handmade pottery. So of course, when I visited the silent auction table, my childhood upbringing came out and I bid on a few items just to "up the ante." Buuuuut I put my date's name down. And we lost. He ended up having to pay for a magazine subscription and a giant wine basket (so maybe ultimately we won). Worst date ever? You may say yes...but I say wait a minute...After that, we went to a bar with some friends and then went home where he promptly went to work taking care of me. Water, snacks, the works. Except when I decided I didn't want the snacks anymore and would throw them half-eaten across the room only to scream "Wait! Don't let it stain the carpet." Worst date ever? That'd be me, folks. 
Saturday I stayed in bed. Obviously. I sent man-friend to go get some lunch and screamed "don't forget the vegetable! We need a vegetable!" to which he promptly pinched my cheek and said "ohhhhh we got a vegetable right here." Winner, winner chicken dinner. Then we watched Pitch Perfect for the first time...acaAMAZING. I died laughing. 
Sunday I was a domestically disabled diva and cooked all morning. And then celebrated my favorite holiday...Super Bowl Sunday. Fun fact: I watched the Super Bowl with an STL cop. During commercial breaks (because the commercials this year were shit, who's with me?) he told us how he "Saw a cat in an alley. Hit him...you're welcome" and how he uses crack rocks to bribe bums for information. He explained how this can be both positive and negative reinforcement ("I have three crack rocks and one question, how long will it take you to answer?"). Oh and he also told us about the time he broke up a domestic disturbance call...which occurred because a mom and son were having sex. Together. Then he promptly fell asleep for the rest of the game because obvi, he had a busy week. I also watched it with a Greek woman who had never seen the Super Bowl before and her deaf-in-one-ear boyfriend who kept shouting really loud. Eventually my friend and I just kind of sank back into the couch with our endless chip dips, wine and two cats. 
So that was my weekend. What was your weekend?
Linking up with Sami for Weekend update!

1 comment:

  1. I laughed throughout this post. I can soooo relate to 'upping the ante'. I do that and then I'm like someone, anyone, please bid against me! ha. And I think your superbowl party sounds fun! very entertaining!

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