Addendum to the 5 Assholes You'll Date in College

February 23, 2013

The following are a few addendums to my post "The 5 Assholes You'll Date in College." 


Addendum A: The Alpha Male Looks Like This

I was supposed to read for my alumnae book club last night. I even went to the bookstore and everything so I could focus. But then, I saw the Total Frat Move book. And I just couldn't help myself. And while part of me shuddered at the bad publicity that will come for the Greek System from this atrocious novel...the other parts of me couldn't help laughing. Especially when I found this page.

Cheers, pledge master, for making my last semester so hysterical with your stupid stories. I hope that you're installing the same type of fear into all the opposition soldiers you're off fighting, somewhere. Because as you said..."I'm a soldier, disguised as a nerd, disguised as a frat boy. I'm a fucking badass"




Appendix B: This is why we don't listen to Adele

Under Asshole #3: The Heartbreaker, I encouraged you not to listen to Adele. A friend sent me this video shortly after reading it and I have to agree--this is why we don't listen to Adele at times like that! (However...Adele is also a big role model during times of break up. She took her break up and turned it into 11 Grammies. She gave one big middle finger to her ex, an example to girls everywhere. So, maybe I should say that if you're going to listen to Adele after a break up, listen to her Grammy acceptance speech and not her album.) No I mean really, look, she just gave a big middle finger. And snapped.
I imagine her saying at this moment in her head: "I'm the only one who can make flipping someone off look classy and like an action others should aspire to. Snaps to me."


Anyways, this video is why we don't listen to Adele and is sure to brighten your Saturday =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11RZIDNN4pk
(Guys, I'm struggle bussing with this link. Click it for SNL's funny skit on Someone Like You with Emma Stone! Yes!)


Now this is the Adele you should get to know and love:
Sassy bitch knows what she got. 
Adele, as I say over and over, you're my top betch. You know who I'd like to see in a room together? Me, Adele and Khloe Kardashian. 



3 comments:

  1. This makes me laugh because Dan was pledge master his senior year. To the Dirty Half Dozen.

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  2. I love/adore/want to be Adele. She is one classy lady and I just finished reviewing Total Frat Move for the publisher and that book is ridiculous. Townes Prescott is the guy I would like to know and absolutely never date :P

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    Replies
    1. Knowing my luck I would probably end up dating him.

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