NOW OFFERING FREE Dream Reading!

Just kidding. (I mean, if you want me to analyze your dream, I can...but I am not a professional.) But the following happened and it made me giggle so I thought I would share, in case it makes you giggle too. My best frand and I were texting about mutual crazy dreams we had last night, so of course, like any good friend would do, we offered non-professional, way off base dream interpretations to liven it up.

My dream:

I went to go visit a man friend (that's giving him more credit than he deserves) only to find he lives at home and his room is painted pink. My dream very clearly zoomed in on different items in his room, all of which were family pictures or mementos. I remember thinking "aww, he's so much more than his deuschy frat boy self." Then, I went downstairs to see him and this is where the dream switched into Jekyll and Hyde--literally. He literally kept switching personalities every like five minutes (dream time) and whenever he would switch to the violent personality, we would have to lock him up in the cubby space under his bunk bed.  Then, while waiting for his violent mood to pass, I would go downstairs and hang out with his parents who of course looked nothing like they do in real life (his dad was a nerd and his mom was black. Say what?). I went upstairs to try and talk to him while he was locked in his cubby hole and tell him how much I loved him and that everything would be okay, when his nurse, who was madly in love with him and harboring secret affections, STABBED ME IN THE ARM WITH A HYPODERMIC NEEDLE. 

Then I woke up.

Lauren's Analysis:

Because of your past flings with him, he's at the top of your mind. But because of your last awful relationship, your projecting your fears about future relationship potential (trust me, there is zero potential). For example, you're scared that he'll act like a complete psycho as R did, and have some scary-ass side person with needles (R has a part-time lesbian ex-girlfriend soooo that seems like a realistic projection). As far as the mother being black, maybe you're racist. I have no idea. Jk jk lol lol. 

*****

Lauren's Dream:

Lately, I've had several dreams with dinosaurs. They're just present. Like we know they exist, but we also know that they won't harm us unless they're provoked. We go about our lives carefully, knowing (thanks to Jurassic Park) that if you hold still, they can't see you. 

My Analysis:

There are several issues in your life that are critical, but not life-threatening, that you're ignoring. And as long as you don't change, you don't have to deal with them. 

***

According to dreammoods.com (so legit), dreaming of a past lover signifies the relationship has unfinished/unresolved issues, and someone using a needle suggests that I need to "incorporate and join together various aspects of my consciousness." Bunk beds in your dream represent childhood and innocence. Alternatively, it may refer to diverging and conflicting views of sexuality. You may have difficulties expressing your needs and desires (this is getting awkward).To see a nurse in your dream means that you need to take time out in order to heal, mentally, physically and spiritually. (I'm wondering if there's any dream combination DreamMoods wouldn't be able to find a way to make sexual?)

So basically, DreamMoods would advise me to get locked in a room with "man friend" and work out our unresolved issues. This sounds sexual terrible and unnecessary. 

I also learned that I am the only who responds to texts that say "You were in my creepy dream last night..." Awesome. I mean, who's curiosity wouldn't be peaked by that? Clearly, only mine.

So, what do you think of our dream analysis skills? Should we quit our day jobs? Too soon? Leave your dream below if you want a crazy, fully accurate interpretation ;)