Confessions of a Demanding Human

Sometimes I think that self-discovery of the fundamentals of your personality is done. But it isn't. Every once in a while you hear something about yourself and you're like...wait...what? Aww shit. Yeah.
Recently, I was told that I was too demanding. And while I would like to crawl under a table and pretend this isn't true...it's not the first time I've heard this. Being demanding makes me very successful in certain areas of my life....and not so successful in others. Womp womp, c'est la vie. So of course, as in all issues where I'm questioning my future status as a cat lady, I turned to my friend Elliott for support. 
There are few people who can insult me for two hours straight on Skype and get away with it. My friend Elliott probably being one of the few. And by few I mean like...one. Elliott has the ability to constantly bring me back to earth...which as a self-admitted high maintenance woman, I could use every once in a while. 
Within the first minute he told me I looked like an epileptic goldfish who smelled like mayonnaise. 

Then I tried to tell him my story about being told that I was too demanding. I was expecting support. What did I get? Straight up laughter. He rolled. Like he was literally rolling on the other side of the computer. 

He proceeded to tell me "You're not demanding, you're just really really mean to people you don't know. And that comes off as demanding...no, no you're demanding too." 
Shit, guys. How will I make friends? How will I ever have a successful man friend relationship? It's true. I am super mean to people in those first few weeks. If I was going to go all Freud on myself here, I would say that it's because I like to know how long they plan on sticking around before I throw myself into anything. Doorstep baby problems.  So, that was my wake up call from Elliott. He told me he loves me, but I am super rude in the first two weeks. But very worth it afterwards, he assured me. Apparently I am quite the loyal, friendly gem...if you can survive the first three weeks. Then he decided to take matters into his own hands and tweet to the person who triggered this conversation "I agree. She is super demanding."
Because my friend is a 12 year old boy. Awesome. Thanks, Elliott.  But I can't even be mad at him.  Because I need to live on his couch when I'm a demanding cat lady. 
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