Dating Disasters: Silent Auctions

August 15, 2013

I talk a lot about dating disasters here. It's kind of my "niche" you might say. And while I absolutely adore poking fun at these boys, I was always taught: don't dish it out if you can't take it. Or something like that. I don't know. I was probably sassing my parents halfway through that cliche. So, because I do believe ya gotta be able to poke a little fun at yourself...here I am, sharing the time I was the worst first date possible. 

To set the stage, you have to realize that I grew up in a household where silent auctions were seen as a great way to "support charity." See, my father would run around the tables putting his name down and increasing it just a little bit to "encourage other bidders who actually wanted it." However, more often than not, there were no other bidders. I would get a call from my Dad, "Autumn, go pick this up. I'll give you a check when you get home." I picked up some weird things. Homemade pottery. Bulletin boards made out of wine corks. Map jewelry. Statues. 

Fast forward. A big thing in STL is trivia nights. AKA people bring the entire contents of their wine cellar and then try to play trivia. And then they bid on shit. So, I dragged my man friend at the time to the silent auction tables. 

Where of course, I was a dutiful daughter and employed my father's tried and true silent auction method. With man friend's name, of course. I knew better than to put mine. I am le drunk, not le stupid.

And that my friends, is how he ended up "winning" a yearly magazine subscription, some kitchen tools and a wine basket filled with more than $150 worth of goods. 


Sometimes, the dating disaster is me.

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13 comments:

  1. You are awesome. He should thank you.

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  2. Hahaha! Oh man. Well played, you jerk!

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  3. Funny stuff, I hope he didn't spend to much "winning" all that loot.

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  4. "I am le drunk not le stupid." I adore you.

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  5. I bet that's a first date he never forgot!

    somi ◈ gee

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  6. WE learn interesting things from our parents. Too funny!

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  7. Bahhahah this is something that would happen to me because I never win anything... this would be the time

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  8. So when's the wedding? Because of course he realized how awesome sauce you are after helping him "win" some amazing gifts! LOL! ;)

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  9. Brains and beauty?! You, my dear, are a catch!

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