Dating Disasters: Silent Auctions

August 15, 2013

I talk a lot about dating disasters here. It's kind of my "niche" you might say. And while I absolutely adore poking fun at these boys, I was always taught: don't dish it out if you can't take it. Or something like that. I don't know. I was probably sassing my parents halfway through that cliche. So, because I do believe ya gotta be able to poke a little fun at I am, sharing the time I was the worst first date possible. 

To set the stage, you have to realize that I grew up in a household where silent auctions were seen as a great way to "support charity." See, my father would run around the tables putting his name down and increasing it just a little bit to "encourage other bidders who actually wanted it." However, more often than not, there were no other bidders. I would get a call from my Dad, "Autumn, go pick this up. I'll give you a check when you get home." I picked up some weird things. Homemade pottery. Bulletin boards made out of wine corks. Map jewelry. Statues. 

Fast forward. A big thing in STL is trivia nights. AKA people bring the entire contents of their wine cellar and then try to play trivia. And then they bid on shit. So, I dragged my man friend at the time to the silent auction tables. 

Where of course, I was a dutiful daughter and employed my father's tried and true silent auction method. With man friend's name, of course. I knew better than to put mine. I am le drunk, not le stupid.

And that my friends, is how he ended up "winning" a yearly magazine subscription, some kitchen tools and a wine basket filled with more than $150 worth of goods. 

Sometimes, the dating disaster is me.

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  1. You are awesome. He should thank you.

  2. Hahaha! Oh man. Well played, you jerk!

  3. Funny stuff, I hope he didn't spend to much "winning" all that loot.

  4. "I am le drunk not le stupid." I adore you.

  5. I bet that's a first date he never forgot!

    somi ◈ gee

  6. WE learn interesting things from our parents. Too funny!

  7. Bahhahah this is something that would happen to me because I never win anything... this would be the time

  8. So when's the wedding? Because of course he realized how awesome sauce you are after helping him "win" some amazing gifts! LOL! ;)

  9. Brains and beauty?! You, my dear, are a catch!


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