Dating Disasters: Silent Auctions

I talk a lot about dating disasters here. It's kind of my "niche" you might say. And while I absolutely adore poking fun at these boys, I was always taught: don't dish it out if you can't take it. Or something like that. I don't know. I was probably sassing my parents halfway through that cliche. So, because I do believe ya gotta be able to poke a little fun at yourself...here I am, sharing the time I was the worst first date possible. 
To set the stage, you have to realize that I grew up in a household where silent auctions were seen as a great way to "support charity." See, my father would run around the tables putting his name down and increasing it just a little bit to "encourage other bidders who actually wanted it." However, more often than not, there were no other bidders. I would get a call from my Dad, "Autumn, go pick this up. I'll give you a check when you get home." I picked up some weird things. Homemade pottery. Bulletin boards made out of wine corks. Map jewelry. Statues. 
Fast forward. A big thing in STL is trivia nights. AKA people bring the entire contents of their wine cellar and then try to play trivia. And then they bid on shit. So, I dragged my man friend at the time to the silent auction tables. 
Where of course, I was a dutiful daughter and employed my father's tried and true silent auction method. With man friend's name, of course. I knew better than to put mine. I am le drunk, not le stupid.
And that my friends, is how he ended up "winning" a yearly magazine subscription, some kitchen tools and a wine basket filled with more than $150 worth of goods. 

Sometimes, the dating disaster is me.