Five Stages of a Staff Meeting

1. You walk in. You see someone try to suck up to the department head by shouting unnecessarily across the room that there's an open seat next to them. You're pretty sure they were just bitching about this person five minutes ago. Confusion ensues over whether saving a seat is a sign someone's been back-talking you and now feels guilty, or if they genuinely like you. No one saved you a seat. 

2. They announce a new HR policy change. The same policy change that they spent three months doing "research" on with "extensive cross-departmental discovery meetings." 

                                      

3. Someone tries to ask a "clarifying" question. The Director doesn't want to hear it. 

                                      

4. You and your coworker decide this is going nowhere. Ensue private conversation instead. 

5. Someone leaves early thanks to a pre-established conference call. Everyone is immediately jealous.