We Speak in Dolphin

July 10, 2013

I'm not really sure why I started writing this post. Maybe because I think it's slightly weird that unless it's a significant others, we bloggers pretty much tend to not talk about our friends. Or maybe because I'm slightly worried that after reading so many dating disaster stories, you might think I don't have any healthy relationships with males. In which case, this post won't really prove or disprove that. Or maybe because I'm starting to worry some of you may be thinking I'm a fun person who you'd like to know IRL. In which case you should be warned of the strange things that I make my IRL friends do...

I found Elliott at the end of my cross-country road trip in a house full of strangers I found on Craig's List. I think our friendship was cemented when I drunkenly proclaimed "You know what's great? You're the first boy who doesn't want to kiss me. That's why we can be friends." (Clearly he loves me because I am the most humble of his friends.)

Here are several reasons why Elliott has become incredibly hard to replace as a male best friend:

1. He will walk half a mile down a busy road with you because you had a hot dog craving that could not be satisfied. Because he had a slurpie craving that could not be satisfied.

2. He makes sure I never take myself too seriously. There are really too many examples of this. Once, I was writing a letter to my at-the-time boyfriend and Elliott came along. I was being all emotional and girly. By the time Elliott and I were done with the letter, it looked like this:

3. He let me borrow his cat. *Side note: Elliott doesn't believe in having "fat cats." Meaning every day he would give his cat a set amount of food. Meaning every day, I would screw with this by feeding his cat whatever I wanted from my fridge. She was hungry.

4: He hid in my laundry hamper with me when the cops came to break up a fight outside of our house.

5. We once had an entire conversation using nothing but dolphin sounds.

6. He always knew when I needed a selfie, and never made me ask.
Pictures inside abandoned beach hobo huts don't scare him. Also a plus.

7. We went shopping together. He needed socks, and I tried on hooker heels.

8. You can go on dates, without all the things about dates you hate. No awkward "are we here to watch the movie or are we here to not watch the movie...?" You're always there to watch the movie.

9. He understands that if he's going to royally screw me over by making me go on a sex tour with our creep roommate, he needs to write a follow up blog post about it. 

I am a high maintenance friend. But I like to think I'm worth it.

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  1. OMGosh, my Husband and I have an inside dolphin joke, too!! HAHA!!

  2. I love this! I have a few male best friends, and we have the best, randomness, weirdest relationships!

  3. Haha!! Love :) I think I blog more about my friends than I do about John, but my friends are far more entertaining. I love my guy friends, they'd do just about anything for me/with me, and never want to make out (but they enjoy being pimped to my single gal pals)

  4. I loved this!! I think it's the silliness and not-take-everything-so-seriously nature of guys that makes it easier (at least for me) to have guy friends instead of girl friends. Elliot sounds like an awesome person!

  5. That sounds like a perfect friendship! And I am super high maintenance as well and totally understand how annoying I can be so I definitely appreciate my friendships!

  6. So lovely! True friends are judgement free about hot dog cravings.

  7. Entire conversations using nothing but sound? Yup, girl I am on your level!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  8. I have a guy friend like this!!!! Ahhh perfect :)

  9. Hooray for friends!!! Thanks for the post.


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