Hello Unreal Life Fans!
I'm Patricia and Kisses & Croissants is my little corner of the internet. Autumn is really awesome and was nice enough to give me the opportunity to guest post. I'm an American girl who studied abroad in college, fell madly in love with a man who barely spoke English my first week there, and moved to France after graduation to marry that hunk. I sound kind of corny already, don't I?
But before finding Mr. Right (know as Monsieur Right on the blog) my first few years of dating were pretty traumatizing. You know all those girls who complain because they can't find anyone who's looking for a serious relationship? I used to have the opposite problem.
It all started at the ripe old age of 14, when I decided that I wanted a boyfriend so that I could hold hands with someone at the football games and not look lame. About two weeks into our little msn chat/hallway relationship, he started mentioning how excited he was to marry me one day soon and spend the rest of eternity by my side. The first time he said this, I thought he was just getting caught up in the moment. But a couple of weeks worth of love e-mails later, I realized he was dead serious. Obviously, I panicked and broke up with him (over e-mail, because I was super mature at 14 years old).
|This is my yearbook photo from that year. For the record, he should have known better. Anyone who still wears t-shirts saying "Bring Your Tiara - Princess Resort" is obviously not ready or mature enough to talk about getting married.|
Contrary to my mother's wishes, I really loved being single. I liked going on adventures and doing whatever I wanted without worrying about how my actions would effect my boyfriend. I never felt the need to find my other half. I was already a whole person, all by myself.
But I'm sure as a single person, you have already noticed that some people really love giving terrible unsolicited advice. It's almost like singleness is a disease and
your mom some people want to cure you as soon as possible. Let me tell you about some of the real gems of crap wisdom I received.
1. You should never turn someone down for a first date.
Everyone deserves a shot, right? Wrong, especially if he seems like he could be dangerous. This is the stupidest dating rule ever. Before I realized this, I went on at least 40 dates that I really didn't want to go on, because I didn't want to seem mean.
If you're not sure if you're interested or not yet, then go for it. Dates are all about getting to know people better. But if you're dreading the date before it even starts, or you're already complaining about it to your girlfriends, do both of you a favor and just say "no." This way neither of you wastes your time or money.
2. If you have the opportunity to marry someone and you turn them down, God will punish you.
I wish I was joking, but I really had someone tell me that when I was 18. Good heavens. 18 and single. I might as well start investing in my cat collection. I'd had recently been on dates with a few too many commitment psychos in a row (including one who told me that I needed to stop eating shrimp if I was planning on popping out babies anytime soon) and announced that I was taking a break from dating. A friend of mine then gave me the above gem of wisdom, apparently was worried about how my salvation factored into this dating thing.
I'm a religious person, and all for believing that marriage is ordained of God. But God does not want you to be miserable. He doesn't want you to try to control your gag reflex every time you think of kissing your future husband.
3. Let him make the first move, or it will never last.
Let's just not even touch on the fact that this advice is old school and super sexist. Maybe he's too shy, or you're just super gorgeous, and it's intimidating. Contrary to what you may have heard, men are terrified of rejection. As long as you aren't making all the moves (while he runs in the opposite direction), you should be fine. Do you really want to date a
pig guy who would turn down an awesome girl, just because she was a little gutsy?
I made the first move with my husband, and he was relieved. Apparently, he was afraid that the exotic American girl might reject him. (What can I say? Sometimes having a foreign accent comes with benefits.) I was actually a total chicken and had sent him a Facebook invite to a Pancake Party I was throwing, because I was too afraid to ask him face to face. Maybe it was the lamest move ever, but it totally worked.
Alright Unreal Life Fans, what is the worst dating advice you've ever received?