[Guest Post] Worst Dating Advice

July 1, 2013

Hello Unreal Life Fans!

I'm Patricia and Kisses & Croissants is my little corner of the internet. Autumn is really awesome and was nice enough to give me the opportunity to guest post. I'm an American girl who studied abroad in college, fell madly in love with a man who barely spoke English my first week there, and moved to France after graduation to marry that hunk. I sound kind of corny already, don't I? 

That's Us!
But before finding Mr. Right (know as Monsieur Right on the blog) my first few years of dating were pretty traumatizing. You know all those girls who complain because they can't find anyone who's looking for a serious relationship? I used to have the opposite problem. 

It all started at the ripe old age of 14, when I decided that I wanted a boyfriend so that I could hold hands with someone at the football games and not look lame. About two weeks into our little msn chat/hallway relationship, he started mentioning how excited he was to marry me one day soon and spend the rest of eternity by my side. The first time he said this, I thought he was just getting caught up in the moment. But a couple of weeks worth of love e-mails later, I realized he was dead serious. Obviously, I panicked and broke up with him (over e-mail, because I was super mature at 14 years old). 

This is my yearbook photo from that year. For the record, he should have known better. Anyone who still wears t-shirts saying "Bring Your Tiara - Princess Resort" is obviously not ready or mature enough to talk about getting married.

Contrary to my mother's wishes, I really loved being single. I liked going on adventures and doing whatever I wanted without worrying about how my actions would effect my boyfriend. I never felt the need to find my other half. I was already a whole person, all by myself.

But I'm sure as a single person, you have already noticed that some people really love giving terrible unsolicited advice. It's almost like singleness is a disease and your mom some people want to cure you as soon as possible. Let me tell you about some of the real gems of crap wisdom I received.

1. You should never turn someone down for a first date.

Everyone deserves a shot, right? Wrong, especially if he seems like he could be dangerous. This is the stupidest dating rule ever. Before I realized this, I went on at least 40 dates that I really didn't want to go on, because I didn't want to seem mean. 

If you're not sure if you're interested or not yet, then go for it. Dates are all about getting to know people better. But if you're dreading the date before it even starts, or you're already complaining about it to your girlfriends, do both of you a favor and just say "no." This way neither of you wastes your time or money.

2. If you have the opportunity to marry someone and you turn them down, God will punish you.

I wish I was joking, but I really had someone tell me that when I was 18. Good heavens. 18 and single. I might as well start investing in my cat collection. I'd had recently been on dates with a few too many commitment psychos in a row (including one who told me that I needed to stop eating shrimp if I was planning on popping out babies anytime soon) and announced that I was taking a break from dating. A friend of mine then gave me the above gem of wisdom, apparently was worried about how my salvation factored into this dating thing.

I'm a religious person, and all for believing that marriage is ordained of God. But God does not want you to be miserable. He doesn't want you to try to control your gag reflex every time you think of kissing your future husband.

3. Let him make the first move, or it will never last.

Let's just not even touch on the fact that this advice is old school and super sexist. Maybe he's too shy, or you're just super gorgeous, and it's intimidating. Contrary to what you may have heard, men are terrified of rejection. As long as you aren't making all the moves (while he runs in the opposite direction), you should be fine. Do you really want to date a pig guy who would turn down an awesome girl, just because she was a little gutsy?

I made the first move with my husband, and he was relieved. Apparently, he was afraid that the exotic American girl might reject him. (What can I say? Sometimes having a foreign accent comes with benefits.) I was actually a total chicken and had sent him a Facebook invite to a Pancake Party I was throwing, because I was too afraid to ask him face to face. Maybe it was the lamest move ever, but it totally worked.

Alright Unreal Life Fans, what is the worst dating advice you've ever received? 

Patricia

(Seriously...by this point I will have been locked in a hotel with my coworkers for five days. Tweet me the worst dating advice you've ever heard, I'll need a break from small talk! Love, Autumn)

8 comments:

  1. Loved this! You are so right Patricia.
    #1- Correct!! Absolutely correct. You NOT need to date every single man who asks you out. That is ludicrous. Just watch the news and you will see how many ax murderers are roaming the streets. haha puh-lease!

    As far as #2. Not everyone is religious. Seriously...they are not. I wish that people who say those things would realize that not everyone is exactly like them in their thinking. And even if it were so, what about divorce? Plenty of people find love (true love) after divorce and they are fine...That is absolutely silly! I agree that God doesn't want you to be miserable.

    #3. True. Some guys are shy. I am the type that likes to make the first move. I think it's sexy when women are confident.

    Great information!

    Ginny
    www.buttergirldiaries.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have pretty much broken every single piece of advice here, so I'm pretty sure I'm just going to be single forever. *awwww, drat!* okay, just kidding -- not about breaking every rule, mind you, because that I have totally done, but I'm not worried about being single. No offense to whoever told you these things, but those ideas are ridiculous.

    The worst advice I ever got actually came just a few days ago, from my (usually incredibly wise) grandma... She said that I should have married young, when I was like 19 or so, and also married a young man my own age, so that we could "grow together" and not get stuck in a position of growing up on my own, and having my own set of rules and ideas for my own life, and then being forced to reassess/compromise after marriage to someone later on. ......... Huh???

    I am SO glad that I haven't been married for ten years already. I have grown so much, and learned so much about myself, and life, and what I want and don't want in a relationship and a marriage in the last ten years that I probably never would have gotten, had I actually married young. Yikes.

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  3. PRINCESS RESORT!!! I love it. My advice would be to not take dating so seriously. It should be fun!

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  4. This is great! I concocted my own "Rules of Dating" on my own blogosphere a bit ago...I'd love your thoughts on it!

    Erica
    http://www.ericaligenza.wordpress.com
    POST: http://ericaligenza.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/5-rules-for-dating/

    ReplyDelete
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