Weekend Update: The Town

July 22, 2013

This weekend's keyword was recovery. I think all the stress/exhaustion/busyness of 5-day work trips, weekend road trips, quitting jobs and moving plans all caught up and I was pretty much horizontal as much as possible (not that way, losers). The best way to recover: indulging in one of my favorite guilty pleasures--bank robbery movies (and also boxing movies). The fact that I can be completely engrossed in these two genres is a mystery to me. Normally I balk at anything with unnecessary violence and gore...and yet when it comes to robbing shit and boxing shit I can literally not turn my eyes away. So, yeah...this is my weekend update.

The Town: 2010 American crime drama exploring the deep, resonating bromance between two bank robbers who grew up in Boston. Emotional turmoil ensues when one robber falls in love with bank robbing victim, and pursues a romantic relationship. Viewers will be left questioning whether true love can conquer all, how often did Ben Affleck meet with a voice coach and what do they do with all the stolen money since they still live in the slums? 

1. Find bank robbery movie on TV channel that you only remember exists on Saturdays. Wiggle with glee when you see you've managed to turn it on at the exact start time. Settle in to your couch for 3 hours of guilty pleasure. 

2. Make a mental note to visit the city thanks to beautiful, yet grim, opening montage of children playing in streets and old men sitting in chairs on porches. 

3. Secretly wonder if your neighbors are judging you for the loud gun shot noises coming from your TV. 

4. Realize your heart is pounding faster than any workout you've done in the past week. 

5. Get overly emotionally attached to the bank robbers thanks to their bromance. 

6. Overcompensate for how tense the violent movie is making you feel by painting your nails in solid gold glitter. Decide to worry about explaining the professionalism of gold glitter nails to your boss later. 

7. Become obsessed with the history of bank robberies in Boston. Look up all the books you can find on bank robberies and download all the samples to your Kindle. 

8. IMDb every single actor and actress in the movie. 

9. Realize you're rooting for the bank robbery victim and bank robber to get together. Feel instant guilt at how psychotic that is. Look up Mass times to go pray for forgiveness because that is just screwed up. 

10. Wonder how Ben Affleck went from zero to hero. Wonder if this will rub off on his co-star Blake Lively, who is once again playing a beautiful drug addict. 

11. Become upset that the movie only has 15 minutes left. What will you do when it ends?

12. Consult Netflix for more bank robbery movies. Begin again.

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  1. I love The Town! But I HATEDBen Affleck's BFF dude, such an ass.

  2. Hahah this is great!

  3. Haha, such a funny post. True obsession for a movie... Even if it was just for a weekend

  4. Haha! Being from the South of Boston I loved this movie! Ben seriously lost a lot of his accent. He sounds so fake! I go through the same when watching movies!

  5. LOVE this movie! I love it so much I bought it for my husband as a Valentine's present. Because yeah, bank robberies are romantic.
    P.S. I can't get enough of that first gif!


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